Giving Yourself The Freedom To Be Pissed

Bad Days Happen

I think that a lot of us have our ideas a bit twisted. Many of us believe that living a peaceful life means always being calm, never becoming upset, and only producing positive thoughts. Well, I’m here to tell you that the ideas listed above are completely unrealistic. We are human beings, and by nature, we are emotional. We respond and react to things, and sometimes, we react in ways that may not be positive.

Living a peaceful life does not guarantee that you’re going to smile your way through all of life’s ups and downs. Do not let anyone tell you that you must always maintain a positive mindset. Not only is that not true, but it’s impossible.

I’ve explained in former blogs, that it is most important that we be lead by our mind and soul, and to not try to steer it in our favor. Instead, allow them to take us on their journey. With that being said, sometimes, the mind will lead us to what we consider to be a negative place, because it is trying to show or tell us something important. Pay attention to the signs. What is this reoccurring negative thought, and why is it lingering? Is this thought about something that is presently going on (remember that the mind does not travel backwards, or jump ahead unless it’s being steered)? These are types of questions that you’d want to ask yourself. The Universe will communicate with you in ways that will get, and keep your attention, when it’s trying to show you something. Don’t ignore it, because it might not be “just you“.

But…Maybe It Is Just You

A couple of days ago, I had a very bad day. Unfortunately, the day began going south in the morning. It felt as though with every passing minute, things got progressively worse. I had done everything that I know how to do, in combatting the negative thoughts that were rapidly forming. I stopped to breathe, I counted, I used my save word, I thought about the beautiful things in the world, I thought about how great it is to be loved, and how much I love myself — but to none of that worked for more than a few minutes at a time. So then, I pulled out the big guns: I thought about (and looked at pictures of) Prince, I listened to Amy Winehouse, and Jamiroquai (which has always worked, until that day). I tried so hard to check my frequency, that doing so, only frustrated me further. By 2:00pm, I was a completely unhappy and unstable person. That day was a wrap.

Call It What It Is

Deciding to wrap up the day was the best thing that I had done for myself all day. Simply telling myself to stop fighting it, and allowing myself to have a bad day, took the pressure off. It didn’t exactly make my day any better, but I no longer felt a need to change it. I said to myself, “One day. I’ll give you one day — the rest of today, to be pissed. But, tomorrow, we will not spend even one second on what is going on today, because it will no longer exist“. So that’s exactly what I did. I gave myself that day to be grumpy, angry, unbalanced, on edge, and quick tempered. I only promised myself that I wouldn’t hurt anyone — and I didn’t.

Letting go and giving myself permission to wild out had actually calmed me down. By the time that I had gone to bed, I was very relaxed. The next day, none of the prior day’s events existed anymore, and I made the most of the new day.

Life Happens

It’s okay to have a bad day. Shit happens! Life happens. And, if no one has died, everything is fixable. It’s inhuman to not respond, react, or live on autopilot, as though nothing can ever bother you. That’s a disaster waiting to happen. We have to release. As described in the example of my bad day, forcing yourself to remain positive can be very strenuous, and cause more frustration. Being positive should not add pressure to our lives.

As we practice peace and Zen, it becomes more and more natural; and before long, it’s second nature to us — and even then, there’ll be times when we’ll have to throw our hands up, and start over, tomorrow.

Your Life Is Real, Not A Meme

There are so many memes out there telling us that we need to keep a positive mindset and everything will be okay. That’s bullshit. It takes hard work to make everything okay, and in the process, things have a tendency to go horrendously awry. However, if you are honest with yourself, and you accept that things don’t always go smoothly, you’ll allow yourself to have a bad day (when you can’t change it). Accepting that you’re having a bad day does not make you a bad person. When it happens, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this situation?” There is always a lesson to be learned, regardless to whether your experience is positive or negative. Make the day count. Let it make you into a better, and more informed person.

Trust the Universe, and trust that it’s only trying to point you in the direction of your destiny. Know that it will use any tactic that is necessary to get your attention. The Universe knows that you are human, and will do human things. It’s not going to beat you up for that, as long as you are doing the right things, so you shouldn’t either. Always remain true to yourself.

“There’s nothing wrong with having a bad day. Let yourself feel the emotions because every emotion is validated.”

~Iskra Lawrence