Tighten Up Your Regimens And Rituals

Weekend Tidbit

Take a couple minutes this weekend to tighten up on your rituals and regimens. If you don’t have any, create some.

Since we are all on the course of elevating our minds, evolving, allowing our minds and souls to lead us, trusting the process, and believing that the Universe has our backs — remember that without work, those are only words.

It takes work and time to create a connection with the Universe, and begin to manifest the life that you want, and deserve to have. As with any relationship, trust has to be established, and each person involved must take time to get to know each other. The connection that we build with the Universe, is just that — a relationship. The harder you work on it, the stronger it will become.

Become Disciplined

In the beginning stages of opening, and elevating my mind, I found it difficult to create new habits — particularly, meditating. It wasn’t easy for me to sit still for several minutes at a time, and concentrate on breathing. I mean, seriously, what could be more boring than that? Because meditation was not especially exciting for me, I had trouble being consistent. I’d often stop, but I’d always start again.

When I first started meditating, I’d do it for five minutes each morning. I’d stick with that regimen for several weeks. From there, I moved to 10 minutes, and then 15 minutes per day. I didn’t want to ever dread doing it, or, for it to become something else that I “had to do“. Eventually, I became comfortable with it. Now, I meditate each morning and each night for twenty minutes each. I don’t dread it, and no matter what I have to do, I always make the time to connect with the Universe, in that way.

During meditation, I’m able to slow down, visualize what I want, where I want to be, and the steps needed to bring these visualizations to fruition. It’s also during this time that I receive answers and clarity. Meditation is probably the most important part of my regimen. Other details of my regimen includes: soaking, journaling, and reading. I do each of these things everyday (except for soaking. I do that 3 or 4 times per week), but it took time, trial, and error to become disciplined enough to be consistent. Now that I’ve adopted these rituals, and have become acclimated to this way of life, I can’t imagine not following this regimen.

If You Don’t Have One, Make One

Here’s how I did it.

1. Ask yourself what you would like to achieve. What are you seeking? What kind of relationship do you want to have with your higher power? After you’ve answered those questions…

2. Make time to connect with your higher power, daily. As I said earlier, DO NOT RUSH THIS PROCESS! If you do, you’ll run out of gas, surely. Choose a time of day, and a place where you are comfortable, and free of interruptions.

3. Don’t cheat on yourself! You are building a universal connection and manifesting the changes that you want to see happen in your life — don’t half ass it! If you want it, act like you want it. Do the work, follow your regimen, and make the necessary changes. There is no other way to do it.

4. You don’t have to get into lotus position to meditate! In fact, you don’t have to sit at all. You could stand up, lay down, you can even walk or run. Choose a position or activity that makes you comfortable enough to concentrate. For the most part, that’s what meditation is — concentration.

5. Be true to yourself. Self honesty will determine your level of discipline. Time will tell if you are not ready. This is why I will again suggest taking baby steps into the process. If you try to take it all in one setting, it’ll become overwhelming and easy to quit. Take your time.

You make time for every other event in your life, and in some cases, your schedule is made for you — and you still follow it. Certainly, you can take a few minutes out of your day, here and there (if you cannot commit to a schedule for your connection exercises), to breathe, concentrate, connect, and feed your mind. It will only make you a better person.

“Give yourself the gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of everything you see around you. Go outside and turn your attention to the many miracles around you. This five-minute-a-day regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe.”

~Wayne Dyer

When What They Do Effects You: Dealing With Negativity

Identifying Negativity

Have you ever been around a person who affects the way that you act or feel? In some cases, this isn’t a bad thing. For instance, if the person/people brings out the better parts of you and/or encourages you to strive for excellence, then their presence in your life is positive and valuable. However, if these people bring to light the parts of you that you find unfavorable, or are not contributory to your growth and happiness, they are not valuable, and they do not belong. Anyone who does not leave you with feelings of encouragement and ambition, has no place in your life.

Self Check: Is It You?

Not everyone who has a negative effect on our feelings and/or behavior, is doing so with malicious intent. There are situations where the “offender” has the best of intentions and are not aware of the effect that they have on us. Most of the time, in this case, it’s not them — it’s us.

Humans have a tendency to manufacture thoughts, ideas, and even actions, in our minds, with the expectation that these feelings are understood and known by others. We become disappointed when we find out that what we have created in our minds is not understood by the opposite parties. This usually results in an array of feelings and emotions, such as jealousy, anger, and depression, which can have an adverse effect on our actions.

Unconscious Negativity

Some people have rotten dispositions and give off negative energy that affects everyone around them. Even theses types of people are not necessarily consciously inflicting their negative energy upon the people around them. Sometimes, it’s a case of “That’s just how they are”. When negative energy comes from those of whom you cannot avoid spending time around (perhaps a coworker), it can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude. Even worse, bad attitudes can be quite contagious. An unpleasant disposition could rub off on you and stifle you from being at your best. Although they may not be purposely exacting negativity, they are still toxic, and should be avoided.

Blatant Negativity

There are also those who really are jealous, angry, bitter, and insufferable, and would love nothing more than to bring everyone down to their level. Self loathing people enjoy bringing grief onto others. It’s been my experience that bitter, resentful, people often have entitlement issues. Since they feel that the world owes them something, they are offended by happy, prosperous people. Belittling anyone who is representative of the things that they don’t have, yet feel entitled to, makes them feel better about themselves. Sick huh? I know.

You Can’t Control Other People, But You Can Control YOU!

When it comes to those who do not have malicious intent, but instead, are victims of our own imaginations; we must be accountable for our feelings. Communication is the only way to remedy vast ingenuity. We can save ourselves from depression and confusion simply by stating our cases in an effort to know the truth. This is much better than being guided by assumptions. As humans, we tend to overstate how insightful we believe ourselves to be, by attempting to “figure things [and] people out”. There is not always reason for figuring, but rather, inquiring. Not everything  is a puzzle or a “sign”. Believing that everything is said or done in some sort of code, has the potential to drive you mad. Be accountable for your assumptions and articulate your feelings.

Not everyone that we chance upon will have positive attitudes, and sometimes the attitudes of unhappy people can influence our own. This is when we have to create own force field. Whenever you are in positions in which you cannot physically escape the realm of another persons demeanor, concentrate on your own. People are people, and they’re not always easy or pleasant, we have to accept that. However, we cannot allow the vile attitudes of others to change who we are. The best way to protect our energy is to not allow negative people to engage us. There’s no need to respond to or acknowledge them, so don’t.

There is truth to the saying “If you ignore them, they’ll go away”. Even the most self loathing person will not perform if they do not have an audience. Keep moving forward and building your dream, or just continue to be your fabulous self — that is kryptonite to negative energy. Shine on them and blind them. Do not allow salty people to deprive you of the things that the universe has for you.

“The problem with those consumed by negativity, stress, and worry, is that they are trapped by the black cloud. Sunlight cannot enter their world.”

~Joel Aylworth

Returning To The Good Vibes Zone

A Short Story About Brandi Badd Ass

A while back, I was having trouble staying in balance. Suddenly, I started losing weight. I wasn’t trying to, and I had been eating as much as I usually do. Within a few weeks I had lost nearly twenty pounds; I was barely 100 pounds. I would also become very easily agitated and it became increasingly difficult for me to concentrate on anything for more than a few seconds at a time. When speaking, I would repeat myself unknowingly. People that I would talk to would tell me that I had repeated myself, and it was very embarrassing for me. I was always sore and my vision was blurred. My energy had decreased and it was difficult to get out of bed each morning. As days would pass, my condition worsened. I hated mirrors; I hated my clothes because most of them didn’t fit anymore. I hated the whole situation, and I couldn’t understand what was going on with me and why it was happening. I refused to accept the possibility that I might be sick because I’m a fighter; I don’t get sick. Besides, I can’t stand doctors.

Before all of this happened, I was doing fine. My days were broken down into a series of routines which were written on dry erase boards on the walls of my bedroom. I followed these routines meticulously everyday. Each day I would meditate for 20 minutes before doing anything else. No TV, social media, coffee, or food until 20 minutes of meditation was completed. Some days I would go to the park and meditate by the river, but most days I did it at home. Next, I’d go walk or run a few miles–nothing major, then I’d come home and say goodbye to my sons as the left for school. Then I’d eat and have no more than 2 cups of coffee while watching TV or looking at social media, study my vision boards to check my progress and make plans to further that progress, then I’d start my job. I would repeat this routine in the evening after work, sans the exercise. I always felt great after completing these routines. It gave me time to think and plan and I was able to work a lot of things out. Nothing was ever urgent and even in stressful situations, I was able to remain cool.

Gradually, I started to minimize steps in the routines. Some days I wouldn’t exercise; some days I’d stay in bed and watch TV for an hour before meditating. I’d stop everything to talk to anyone who was trying to communicate with me, and eventually, I had stopped doing any of it. I felt horrible that I had broken a routine that was working so well for me, but I was feeling so weighted at the time that I could not resume it–even though it was written on my wall positioned so it was the first thing that I’d see upon opening my eyes each morning. I kept telling myself that I was “just taking a break” and that I’d “get back to it when I’m ready“.

Had I become lazy?” I asked myself, even though I knew that was impossible. I can be called a lot of things, and a lot of those things could be true, but lazy is not one of them. My problem has always been that I have more energy and ambition than I have things to do, so laziness was out of the question. Maybe I had become bored with the routine, as I tend to do. Perhaps, I could have rearranged it or substituted some of the steps in the process for other things. Whatever the reason was, I clearly no longer desired doing any of it anymore. I felt as if there was a Baby Grand piano strapped to my back, and I almost always had a headache.

Since I had stopped giving time to myself, for the benefit of my own progress, I had plenty of time for everyone else. I was spending more time on the phone and social media–hearing and reading unpleasant things. I was spending too much time on bullshit and listening to people who make conscious decisions to be unhappy. This was draining, and I knew it, but I allowed it.

Trying to sleep at night was the worst! When a person suddenly loses substantial weight, it’s difficult to find a comfortable position to lay in. I’m used to sleeping on my side and now this was very uncomfortable–so I tossed, turned, and awakened frequently. Lack of rest made doing my job unbearable. I was attitudinal and very impatient with my customers. My attitude was, “I don’t feel well and I don’t care about what you need”. That attitude guaranteed that everyday was excruciatingly long.

ENTER AFROLOGIK

I had been toying around with the idea of starting a new blog or a podcast for about a year. I’d start planning and then abandon the idea. One day, the name “Afrologik” came to me. I liked how it sounded and felt, so I started hashtagging it. After seeing it, I liked how it looked. At this time, I hadn’t yet decided to write a blog, but I kept hashtagging it because I knew that I could eventually do something with such a cool name. In the interim, I still had not returned to performing my daily routines, my attitude had not changed, I still felt sick, I hadn’t gained any weight, and I was still wasting my time with people who were siphoning away what was left of my spirit.

One day a friend told me that I am a pretty good writer. This meshed with what was going on in my head as far as using the name “Afrologik” and that I had thought about starting a new blog. With that encouragement, I decided to give myself a nudge. Since I was already familiar with WordPress, I did some research, viewed some blogs, and ultimately chose a plan and purchased a domain name. I was off to a good start. Now I needed to get busy building the site and writing.

People Can Be Anchors

With a domain name, a WordPress site paid up for a year, and encouragement from someone that I trusted, one would think that I had all of motivation that I could possibly need, right? Well, obviously, it wasn’t, because my behavior hadn’t changed at all. I had the name and the site, but I hadn’t written a word. However, I was still allowing the same people to bombard me with their lives to the point where I was adopting their issues as my own. I felt as though large anchors were chained to my ankles preventing me from moving forward.

I could not move, but I could sit. So, one day, I opened a notebook and begun to write. The more I wrote, the more inspired I became. From this, a new routine was formed. Regardless of what I’d have to do on any given day, I’d have to find time to write. It didn’t matter what I wrote about as long as I wrote for an unspecified amount of time each day. I became so excited by this new habit that it was all I could talk about. And when those ridiculous “anchors” would call on me to intrude upon my day with mindless nonsense, I’d immediately redirect the conversation to Afrologik and how much I was enjoying writing. Even during this change, I was still underweight, sore, my vision was still blurry, and I was still crabby–but I was having less headaches.

I became reacquainted with a friend from middle school on Facebook. While chatting with him on Messenger one day, I told him what I had been doing and asked him if he would mind editing for me. He agreed and shortly thereafter, “Welcome To Afrologik” was written and published, followed immediately by “12 Steps To Staying Youthful“. Both articles received great responses and people started to follow my blog. This was intriguing as well as reassuring. Soon, everything in sight became an idea for a blog. I was happier, but my mental and health status was still unstable.

I started seeing a therapist, because I needed help in creating a plan to regain some level of mental stability. I believed that if I could just “get my head right“, the health issue would also be resolved. My therapist is awesome, and I’m not just saying that because she’ll probably read this (LOL!). The first two meetings consisted of me crying hysterically and telling her that “no matter what I do, I end up feeling like this!“. Talking to her once a week and doing the homework that she assigned helped me feel better–for a while, but my behavior still hadn’t changed. I was still wearing those anchors.

That’s What Friends Are For

With Afrologik off to what I considered to be a decent start and receiving good feedback, I noticed that the anchors hadn’t visited the site, but I was still being a sounding board for their ridiculousness. When I spoke to one of them about this, I was told that although they will offer moral support, they would not follow my blog for reasons that are so fantastically stupid that I refuse to insult my keyboard by typing them. Another anchor posted part of the “12 Steps…” on Facebook as their own. What AWESOME friends I have, right? LOL!

Emerging From The Water- A Brand New Day

Days later, while listening to more of the same nonsensical excerpts of the lives and times of anchors via video message, I had finally heard enough. I stopped the message– probably in the middle–and decided to go take a shower. After I showered I wrapped myself in a towel, stepped out of the bathtub, and walked over to my vanity. As I reached for a bottle of lotion, the towel fell from me. I saw myself in the mirror at 105 pounds, and I did all that I could to keep from crying. I said out loud to my reflection, “You cannot lose ANYMORE weight! What you need to lose are PEOPLE! Lose some people weight! You know that it’s time for some people to GO!”

Our AWESOME Universe

I have not yet decided if the universe was waiting for me to say those words, or if what happened next was all happenstance. I’d like to believe that the universe wanted me to make the realization on my own before it would take action.

One of my anchors contacted me to tell me that our “friendship” was over without giving much of a reason. This was the best news that I could have gotten because I had already decided to bring communication to a screeching halt without any explanation. I really didn’t care how it happened, as long as it happened! In fact, that’s exactly what I did with the other anchor. Just like that, it was all over and neither party would ever have to endure the other again. Harmony!

That night, I lit a candle, filled the bathtub with water–as hot as I could stand–and poured some sea salt and lavender oil into it. With some old school Roy Ayers playing in the background, I laid back in the water until only my face was not underwater (because you know, I still had to breathe). As sweat beads formed on my forehead, I imagined that I was releasing all of the toxins that I had endured and that I would emerge from that water brand new, and that’s exactly what happened. I had returned to my good vibes zone.

The next morning, I resumed my original daily routine, as written on my dry erase boards, and added power writing each night. Within two weeks, I gained seven pounds and my vision was no longer blurry. I’m still working toward my usual weight, which is 125 pounds, but I’m no longer losing weight. I still see my therapist every week, sometimes every two weeks. And guess what? My life isn’t perfect! I have personal ups and downs; I have bad days at work; I still make myself available for my children and my friends, and when they are not happy, it weighs on me. I don’t mind, because they carry my weight at times as well. Balance.

The intended purpose of this story is that having the wrong people in your life can affect you mentally as well as physically. Anyone who does not celebrate you in your victories, support you in your efforts, or tries to attach themselves to the things that you’ve worked hard on, does not belong in your life. The anchors that were in my life are not bad people at all; we just no longer fit into each other’s lives. We weren’t feeding each other anymore. When you discontinue to feed any living thing, it dies. Those relationships were once alive and vibrant, and I will always cherish what they were at one time. Towards the end, the kinship was already dead; it just hadn’t been buried yet. As soon as they were given a proper burial, my health improved. I hope that their lives improved also.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice people and things; this enables us to grow, and it creates space for new people and new things that will carry us onto further greatness. It’s important to be smart enough to recognize what or who is hindering us, and strong enough to walk away. Change can be difficult at first. For instance, after those deletions were made, I had no one to talk to, as most of the people in my life are extremely busy. That turned out to be a good thing, because it encouraged me to become extremely busy–working on myself.

It’s all a part of the process of life. Trust the process and believe that you can take flight. But, you will never leave the ground, if you have anchors chained to your ankles.

“When you wake up, each day looks the same, so each day should be a new beginning”

~Prince

I Know We Just Met, But I Don’t Think I Like You

How To Handle Introductions To Unpleasant People

Have you ever met someone that you instantly did not like? I’m sure that at some point we have all experienced this. It’s not always a bad thing.

I had an experience a few years ago where I was invited to a friends house and when I arrived, my friend had other company — a couple of ladies that I had never met. After being introduced to these women, I shook their hands. I shook the hand of the first woman, it was a normal handshake, she seemed nice. The second woman’s handshake sent something through me that I can’t quite describe, but it was not a good feeling. As this woman spoke, the bad feeling intensified. Eventually, the sight of her made me feel sick to my stomach. Mind you, I was only in this woman’s presence for an hour at best. There was something about her that just did not mesh well with me. I made a polite excuse and left. As I drove off, I began to feel better. Whenever my mind wandered back to that visit I’d become sick again. By this time I had reasoned that I felt bad about my instantaneous dislike for someone that I didn’t know.

During the hour that was spent with this woman, she did nothing offensive. She was just annoying and spoke non stop. I live in the south where this is common, its not a reason to dislike someone. Maybe it was just a case of bad chemistry. This really hurt me because I try to give everyone a chance before making such a judgment. I had to be honest with myself: I just didn’t like her, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Intuition: The ability to understand something immediately without conscious reasoning.

Also known as a “Gut Feeling”*

When meeting new people or going to unfamiliar places trigger feelings, emotions, or or affect your natural demeanor, that is intuition — don’t ignore it! Usually, intuitive feelings are correct. Since as humans we have a need to have control of our feelings we might try to out reason our intuition. It is always important to consider our intuitions and why they are telling us that something or someone is not good for us.

After checking your intuition and trying to bear the company of someone of whom you are hopelessly incompatible with, it is probably best that you part ways. In order to do so respectably, keep a few things in mind.

  • Consider the source

If you were introduced to this person by someone who is your friend or a family member, don’t allow your intuition to make them uncomfortable. Be respectful and exit the situation. Do not make faces, speak in innuendo, become preoccupied with your phone, or make snide remarks. When you make your exit, make sure that you also offer a “goodbye” to the person that you don’t prefer as well. It is okay to dislike someone, but it is never okay to be discourteous. Explain to your friend later that it is best that you are not placed in the company of that person.

  • Consider yourself

Maybe it’s you. Consider the mood that you were in when you met this person. What happened that day? What was on your mind? Could you be jealous of this person? How where you feeling? These are all things that can effect the way that we treat people. Before making a final judgment, take a look in the mirror.

  • Don’t Be Cruel (Well, try not to…)

You never know who you are going to need later in life. Each person is a resource–we are all good for something. If you find yourself dealing with someone that you do not prefer, be honest with them but not cruel, if it can be avoided. However, if it cannot be avoided then remember that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

I had a co worker a few years ago whose conversation I could have done without. I dealt with her random babbling’s the best I could and for as long as I could. One Sunday night while preparing for the work week, I thought about how I would at some point on Monday have to hear a bunch of nothing about this woman’s weekend. That night, I decided to be honest with her.

Sure enough on Monday my co-worker tried to put me to sleep with boring details about her weekend. This time I interrupted her tirade with honesty. I told her that it wasn’t necessary for us to discuss non work related issues. Her feelings might have been temporarily hurt, but she got over it. That was better than me repeatedly enduring the boring tales of her weekend adventures. Had I not tactfully put an end to this, I might have said something that would damage the work relationship. Many times after this conversation I would need her help with on the job tasks and she had no problem helping me.

Always listen to your gut, but do so with an open mind.

Are You Blocking Your Own Happiness?

Finding Happiness Within Yourself

2015 was a terrible year for me. Anything that could go wrong, did; from very minor things to very major things. Some things seemed to go wrong simply for the sake of going wrong. In fact, whenever I think back to that year, the sentence that comes to mind is: “That year tried to kill me!”. I know that sounds ridiculous. How can a year try to kill someone? Yeah, it can’t happen right? No, it can’t. However, the events of that year tested my will, strength and spirit so often that following an incident that I felt was “the last straw“, I really tried to end it all. Obviously I survived it, but my life changed forever.

Fast forward to 2018. I am here on planet Earth in physical form and everyday is not a good day. In the past three years, plenty of things have gone wrong. Some of those things were happenstance and many of them were entirely my fault. I’ve always taken responsibility for my own indiscretions; some of which have been redundant. I’ve often questioned myself as to why I choose to repeat certain behaviors or actions that have proven themselves to be self destructive (at most). My answer was always “because I’m unhappy”.

If you know me personally and have spent time around me- or even if you only know me from social media, you know that I am almost always laughing, joking, and smiling. But I’ve spent a lot of time being unhappy, even when I’m seemingly elated. If you’ve never worn that mask, you cannot know how tiring it is to live that double life. So, I asked myself a different set of questions: What would make you happy? What makes anybody happy? Are there happy people? Well… first, let’s define “happy“.

According to Webster Dictionary:

Happy: feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.

In my opinion, happiness is also a feeling of fulfillment. In fact, since I don’t like the word “contentment” (sounds too much like settling) lets replace it with “fulfillment”. So, what makes a person feel pleasure and fulfillment?

That would depend on what a person want’s out of life. Most people believe that money will do it. If you hit the $250 million dollar jackpot, would you really be happy? An even better question; would you really be happier than you are right now? Probably not. And if so, not for long.

Of course money offers security and less worries about financial issues when used correctly. It can also afford you some of life’s luxuries — but it cannot improve the quality of your life if you do not value your life in its present tense. Affluent people are not always happy. They suffer from some of the same issues that us regular people have. A monetary issue cannot be the sole source of your unhappiness. If you do some soul searching you might find that personal happiness is already inside of you, but it is you who keeps burying it with worry.

Why Are You Robbing Yourself?

Most of the time our problems are merely the results of our own bad decisions. If you are alive to read this, no matter how bad the situation may be, you can do something about it.

1. Is It Something From The Past That You Can’t Forgive Yourself For?

If so, then don’t waste time trying to forgive yourself! I made it a rule to never make apologies to myself but only to those that I have offended. Instead of forgiving myself, I take the lesson and move forward with it. That is much more valuable than a self apology. Growth comes with all lessons and we all need to grow for as long as we are alive. So let it go, but keep the lesson.

2. Are You Not Doing Your Best At Everything That You Do?

You are not going to be an expert at everything that you try — And that is the good news, my friends! If everyone was an expert at everything then we wouldn’t need one another, and it would be a lonely life. What matters is that you always give your personal best and don’t be afraid to fail, because you most definitely are going to fail!And that too is good news! Some of life’s most important lessons are learned through failure. Use your strongest skills to give to your family and community. Doing for others and making a difference will provide happiness that is immeasurable. Even when you are at your lowest, give if you can. Never do things for recognition. If your deeds are acknowledged, awesome! If not, you did it from your heart and the universe will recognize that. You never know, it could be a test.

3. Is A Bad Relationship Bringing You Down?

If doesn’t matter if it is a friendship, familial, romantic, or even a business relationship. If it is not making you feel like giving the world your best “You” — you don’t need it. Smiles show on the outside, but they start on the inside. The people that you choose to have around you should provide that for you, and you for them. Life won’t be a field of sunflowers everyday in your personal relationships but the bond needs to be strong enough to assure you that the storm will indeed pass and soon it will be sunshine and sunflowers again. Are you getting as much as you are giving? Are you afraid to make a change? Sometimes taking self inventory is a very hard thing to do, but it is necessary for growth and happiness. Maybe you won’t need to end relationships but change their positions. I was talking to my Aunt Lee once about a friendship that I was in that suddenly changed, and she asked me, “Is he/she your best friend for 20 years, or was he/she your best friend 20 years ago?”. When someone is not bringing out the best in you, it’s time to either make omissions or rearrange the ranking of the relationship.

4. Love: Are You Getting It/Giving It?

One area of my life that I have always felt as though I am the luckiest person in the world is in the love department. I have always been surrounded by people who love me. They might not always like me, but I know that they love me. I can only pray that I can love them all back as aggressively. I don’t know what it is like to feel unloved, but I know what it is like to feel unlovable.

If you are blessed enough to have people who love you in your life, reach out to them when you are feeling down. You don’t have to tell them what is going on with you if you choose not to. Hearing that the people you love are doing well could aid in lifting your spirits. It might also give you some ideas about what you would like to do with your life. Or it could simply reassure you that being happy is still possible — even for you!

For those who are short on family or friends, you still have love to give. Go out and do something for a stranger. You could also take a class or join a club; these are all things that can give you a feeling of accomplishment and ultimately happiness!

5. Get The Chip Off of Your Shoulder!

Okay, okay, okay!!! So life is hard sometime. In fact, sometimes it just plain SUCKS! We’ve all been there once or twice. That is no reason to wear a permanent scowl and spread your bitterness. Positive energy can change anything. If you throw positive energy into the universe, it will return that energy to you. If the world is afraid to approach you because you decide to wear your wounds, then you will be miserable. Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it (I hate platitudes, but that one fit). Wearing your wounds and dwelling on what is wrong will only guarantee you more misery that you will likely suffer through alone, so don’t alienate yourself! However, if things are so bad that you cannot fake it through the day, take some personal time to work things out at your own pace. If necessary, seek professional help.

6. There Is No Microwave Approach To Happiness

Beware of “instant happiness” for it will leave you as suddenly as it comes. New cars get old, the latest wireless devices are upgraded on a yearly basis, new clothes are only new until you wear them. I could go on and on… Take your time and dig deeply into your heart and psyche and find what makes you smile on the inside. Focus on that! Whatever it is, it should not be something that you can physically touch or even describe. Find the thing inside of you that is holding your happiness hostage and free yourself of it. Then you will exude happiness. Others will feel it simply because you are there.

Us humans vibrate 24–7/365. If we all vibrate toward positivity, it can be a happy life for us all!

And to answer my own questions:

What would make me happy? As I evolve, so will the things that make me happy. I send and receive love. As long as that is a constant, I am happy.

What makes anybody happy? That’s up to them.

Are there happy people? Yes, there are!

You Are What You Attract

The Art of Checking Yourself

Do you ever wonder why it seems that wherever you go and whatever you do, you tend to meet the same types of people? If you are constantly being aligned with good people, then meeting good people is your expectation and the universe is meeting your expectation in a good way. Awesome! Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll continue to reap the rewards. However, if you continue to meet people who are not such good people; the universe is still meeting your expectation- but conversely, you’ll continue to pay the consequences (unless these are the types of people that you prefer to be in the company of. If that is the case then you too are reaping the rewards).

Whichever vibes you are giving off will be returned to you. So if you do not put yourself in the position to receive good vibes, then you won’t. Think of who you are, where you’ve been, and where you want to go in life. These are the types of spirits that you’d want to attract: like minded people who will support you on your journey.

The Art of Checking Yourself

Walking around with a big Colgate smile on your face does not mean that you are sending good vibes to those who enter your presence. The universe as well as other people will read more than facial expressions; they read spirits as well. A smile does not always mean that a person is vibrating towards positivity, as smiles are often fake. There are people who can smile after committing the most heinous offenses, so you have to do more than show some teeth.

Your words and thoughts are large contributors to your vibe. I’ve read several books, articles, and blogs on, “How To Stay Positive“, but the reality is that life happens. When it does, it’s not always so easy to stay positive about current situations as they are happening. It’s common advice to tell someone in this position that “You’re still alive” or “Tomorrow is another day“. If you are anything at all like me, those types of phrases can knock whatever positivity that you may have had completely out of you. Obviously you are still alive, otherwise you wouldn’t be there becoming annoyed by a cliche. And of course tomorrow is another day. Were it not, it’d be today or yesterday (DUH!). I’ve said all of that to say that it’s not always possible to stay positive about current specific situations; nonetheless, only you have control over your reactions. It is your reactions that are being read by the universe as well as other people because your reaction is attached to your vibe. Focusing on the things that are going well and or working on what’s to come will increase those positive vibrations and the universe will send you more. Is this easy to do? Nope! Not at first. But when it becomes a habit, you’ll do it without thinking about it.

One thing that I do to keep my reaction in check is wear crystals and magnets, because… well, I believe that crystals and magnets are powerful. Maybe they really are and maybe they are not. If nothing else, when I look down at my Tigers Eye bracelets, I’m reminded to calm down and check my reaction. Find a method that works for you and implement it.

Gravity

You Are Your Own Planet

You are a planet with your own gravitational force. You control what is drawn to you by being what you want to attract. If you are bitter, insecure, jealous-hearted, angry, miserable, messy, petty, or a plethora of other negative things, these are the traits that you will attract because they can continue to thrive on your planet. Contrarily, people who do not possess those negative traits cannot live in such an environment. Although you may lure good people into your atmosphere with a smile or a conversation, they will not stay in an environment that is unfit for their survival.

If you consistently meet the same types of people, or the same individuals are in and out of your life, it’s not their fault– it’s yours. If you want it to stop, it’s easily fixable: stop feeding them and they will die (figuratively, of course).

Don’t Fool Yourself/ Be Fair To Others

There are people who are content in their negative and dramatic worlds– and they have every right to be. If you are that type of person, it’s best that you stick to your genre unless you are really ready to change. Otherwise, it isn’t fair to those who choose to position themselves for growth. Besides, karma does not play– and she’s very protective of her people.

Be true to yourself and others and you will always get what you ask for!