What Do You Want People To Say About You

You Have Control Over The Way You Are Received

I’ve heard the questions asked: “If you died today, what would you want said in your eulogy?” Or, “What would you like for your obituary to say about you?”. While I don’t disagree with those exercises, I think a more important question is: If you are in a room full of strangers, right now, what would you want them to say about you, after you leave their presence? What kind of impression would you like to leave on a room full of strangers, that you most likely, will never see again? Contrary to popular belief, you have more control over this than you’ve been lead to believe.

The Reception of Others

“You can’t help how others feel about you” and, “You’re not responsible for what others think of you“, is not exactly true. Except for in the cases of emotional indifference, such as jealousy (which is more rare than you probably believe it to be — but it certainly happens), and, of course that there are people who are just unhappy, you have total control over what others think of you. People will still have respect for you and your opinions, even if they disagree with you. It’s the delivery that has an effect on others.

What Kind of Energy Do You Give Off?

People usually respond to happiness with more happiness. Even if they’ve had a horrible day, typically, smiles are reciprocated. Conversely, anger is usually responded to with more anger, and so on with all emotions. I’ve been on each end of the spectrum.

By nature, I’m a smiler, I always have been. Even when I’m dying inside, if I have to go out into the world, I smile and speak to everyone that I face. I’ve always been very approachable (a gift and a curse). There’s a good side and a bad side to that. The good side is that it is confirmation that my aura is strong, positive, and powerful, so even on my worst days, I’m giving off positive energy to those around me. The bad side is that being an approachable smiler, makes people believe that they can strike up conversations with me, and sometimes, I don’t feel like talking. Although, I don’t have to deal with the bad side very often, it has, at times, resulted in what many people would call rudeness. But I think frankness is a better term. Sure, I could be more polite in those situations, but to be honest, lots of times, I’m not. After all, if I don’t want to talk, I shouldn’t have to, right? Yes, that is correct. Still, unless the person who approached me was rude, vulgar, or explicit, it was I who changed the climate of that energy– therefore, leaving a bad impression. I’m not suggesting that anyone should endure intrusive people and allow themselves to become trapped in a conversation that they’d rather not be in. I am, however, suggesting that there are other ways of exiting these situations with kindness and patience — without ruining the energy, or tarnishing your aura.

Sometimes, it’s very difficult to balance, because when I walk into a place, and people seem happy to see me, it makes me feel good, as I am also happy to see them. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean that I want to, (or have time to) chat.

Anger And Indifference Responds With Anger And Indifference

If you walk around with a scowl on your face, not making eye contact with others, and not smiling back at people, the responses that you will get will mirror your behavior. Just as in the happiness example, you have control over the energy that you emit. Contented and peaceful people will not allow a bad aura to interrupt their vibe, so it’s not likely that you will attract pleasant people into your life.

Not Everyone Is Outgoing

You don’t have to be the textbook definition of outgoing to emit good vibes and leave good impressions. Being reclusive, does not affect the spirit of your being. Let your spirit guide you, and know that you are a good person, and the good person that you are, will precede you. Good souls can easily identify other good souls. As we know, like attracts like.

We don’t have to do anything excessive to leave a good impression on those who are exposed to us. First, we must know and trust who we are, and be ourselves. Knowing yourself — sensitivities, vulnerabilities, and what makes you happy, sad, or mad — makes it near impossible to be desensitized to the feelings of others. If you are happy with yourself, regardless of what life is doing or what is going on around you, you’ll exude that spirit into the Universe, and it will be returned to you. It feels good to make others feel good.

Sunflowers, And Smiles, And Stuff

Sometimes, I wear large sunflowers in my hair, because I love sunflowers — they make me happy. Also, I do it to pay tribute to one of my favorite people, Billie Holiday (I know that she wore Gardenias, but you know I have to do it my own way). What I’ve noticed is that, when I wear the sunflowers, not only am I happy, but so are the people that I chance upon publicly — which makes me feel doubly blissful. I guess people love sunflowers, big hair, wide eyes, and a smile. Who knew? 🤷🏽‍♀️

What Do You Want People To Say About You?

You, and only you, have control over the energy that you leave behind. Don’t allow your situations or your circumstances to precede you. Remember that you are you, and only you can define you — not your situations. Regardless of what you are going through, you are required to give your best, and be the best person that you can be. In doing that, you might learn that whatever you’re going through is not so bad, or, you might find a solution. Besides, you never know, your smile or kind words could be the best thing that happens to someone on that day. Plenty of times, my day was made by a kind word from someone. I always let those people know that they’ve made my day. Whenever I say that to someone, I really mean it.

People will remember the energy that you radiate, sometimes even more than they remember words, actions, or faces. If you leave them with good memories, they’ll have good things to say about you.

Whatever makes an impression on the heart, seems lovely in the eye.”


Breaking Free

Blog #50! I Did It!

Blog number 50! I’m so proud. yet so humbled. I’m proud of myself, because I’ve stuck with it, and I’ve enjoyed the whole ride. Even with a crazy work schedule and life happening here and there (as life tends to do), I’ve hung in there and kept a schedule of, at first, two articles per week, and eventually three blogs per week, plus one vlog per week. Not too bad for a habitual quitter! (LOL!)

I am humbled, because of all of you who read my blogs, give input, and positive encouragement. It thrills, as well as drives me, to know that as I share my life, experiences, ideas, and logic with my readers, I am also helping others to deal with the craziness of their lives.  It feels great to know that my trials, demons, and mistakes have not been for nothing.  Thank you for allowing me to share parts of me, with you.

And a VERY special shout out to the world’s best editor, Dav Peters.  Sometimes, I miss an edit here and there.  If you should ever notice it, it’s me — not Dav! LOL!

It has also been cathartic for me.  As I said in “About MEEEE“, while writing Afrologik, I am growing with you, and we will get through “this thing called life” together.  I am inspired by you all and I hope that I have been as inspiring to you.

We All Go Home At Some Point

It’s kind of funny how, regardless of where the journey of life takes us, and no matter how far off course we may stroll, we always come back to our true selves. It may take longer for some than others, but eventually, we all come home.

Our mental and spiritual “home” is not necessarily who we were groomed to be. We all spend a great deal of our lives asphyxiated with the idea of doing things the way they’re “supposed” to be done, or acting the way that we are “supposed” to act. Responding to the concept of “fake until you make it“, it’s very easy to lose ourselves and conform to the norm.  We fake ourselves out, and lose the true spirit of who we are — usually to appease the masses. In the process, we even give ourselves the pseudo-importance of judging others for not being afraid to be the way they are — without regard to the masses — and without concern for the judgments of others. They are the true superheroes.  Their superpowers are strength and tenacity.  Those who judge, only do so because they are so afraid or ashamed of their lack of nerve, that they can’t understand those who possess the temerity to be, not who they were trained to be, but who they want to be.  It’s much easier to shield your natural self when you fear that you will not be accepted, than it is to express yourself.

The “Mean Ole Lion” Theory

I’m reminded of the movie, “The Wiz.  The “Mean Ole Lion” hid inside of a statue that sat on the steps of a library for a very long time, afraid to face the world, because he was different.  Unlike most lions, he was sensitive — scared even — instead of ferocious. Eventually, he had to break free from the statue, and when he did, he scared the hell out of Dorothy, The Scarecrow, and The Tinman.

A statue on the steps of a library is not unusual; we see statues everyday. However, it is unusual to see lion bust out of a statue — and even more unusual for that lion to burst into song and dance. But that was the kind of lion that Fleetwood Coupe de Ville (that’s the Lion’s real name) was. Even if he was frightened into becoming his true self, he did it!

So many of us humans spend our lives perched on the steps of a library, or any other building, hiding inside of a statue; because like the Lion, we are afraid that, if we show the world who we really are, it will scare the hell out of them.  The Lion being sensitive and not ferocious does not make him any less of a lion — just as you breaking free from your statue and embracing the person that you are makes you no less of a person who deserves love and respect.

Normal People Suck

Normal people pretty much suck.  Think about it; they are content to live in a statue, rather than enjoy life as the people that they are inside.  Normal people are lead by “supposed to be” and “supposed to do“, instead of their minds and souls.   I’ve been there, and it was very uncomfortable.  I can’t imagine how people can spent their entire lives that way; it would bore me to tears.  In fact, it did.

I’ve always been kind of quirky.  I come from a small, close minded town (I love my hometown, but it’s small and close minded), and quirkiness is not exactly accepted there.  While living there, I played the game for years (I played it my own way, but still, I played the game).  Around 2003, while working at a health food store, I met a real life hippy, named Mike.  Even though he and I bumped heads often, I learned a lot from him.  It was Mike who introduced me to holistic remedies and crystals.  I didn’t want to believe in the power of crystals, because it kind of went against everything that I had been taught, but I was very interested in holistic remedies and health food.

Mike, also had a machine that could zap parasites and other impurities in the human body. I’ll be honest, I thought Mike was a little crazy, but that was only because I was conditioned to believe that when you’re sick, you see a doctor, and when your heart is heavy, you pray. What Mike was showing me contradicted those ideas. Mentally, I was interested in everything that he had to say, but I couldn’t let him know that.

Don’t Be Ashamed of Finding Yourself

One day, Mike had a giant clear quartz crystal, and he called me over to the counter and asked me to touch it.  I held my hand near it, and I could feel it vibrating, so I drew my hand back.  Refusing to touch it after that, I looked at Mike and said, “nah man.  I ain’t touching that”, he laughed.  Later that day, when Mike wasn’t around, I went back to the counter and placed both of my hands on the crystal, and again, I felt it vibrating. I picked it up and examined it more closely as it continued to vibrate.  I looked it over, looking for a battery, a cord — something! It was no way that the crystal was not powered by electricity, I thought — but it wasn’t. It was just a powerful crystal. I never told anyone about that experience, because I knew that no one would understand it. However, that experience aroused my interest in the power of crystals, even to this day.

Over the years, I’ve met human beings (very few) whose spirit quality was as high as that of the quartz crystal that I touched on that day. I could feel their vibration, simply by standing near them — even more so if I touched them. Had I not allowed myself the right to be curious, and unashamed about trying new things — even if they went against what I had been taught to believe — I never would have allowed my mind to expand, and educate myself on things that most would dare to investigate — much less believe.  In part, those experiences brought me into myself, and out of my statue.

Energy And Spirit

The mind is very sophisticated.  If you feed it junk, it’ll learn to live on junk, and you’ll find yourself stuck in position, afraid to come into yourself.  And, ostracizing those who have. But, if you feed it life, it will continue to give life, and you will grow and try new things.  You’ll also learn to be happy with the person that you are.

Human beings are walking balls of energy and spirit.  As we travel through life, we cast that energy onto others. You are light, but when you stifle your growth, you are putting a lamp shade on that light.  Be a bald bulb. Be a flame.  Be the sun! Be a source of energy that gives life and promotes growth.  You cannot do any of these things from the inside of a statue.

You are amazing, and can go on to do amazing things, it you break free from  the chains that life, as well as yourself, have placed on you.  Expand your mind, and consider every possibility as beautiful; that’s the short cut to loving life, and loving yourself. Find people who will facilitate your growth.  I have three people in my life who inspire me to be happy with myself, and when I feel weak, I lean on them.  A strong support system is everything!

As “odd” as I know I may seem to be, it feels damned good to be me! I want everyone to feel that way about themselves.  Learn from the “Mean Ole Lion” and break free! If he can do it, you can do it!

“I’m a free spirit. A spirit that evolves. I’m a diamond. I’m just refining it. Polishing it. Glossing it up.”   

~Simeon Rice