Breaking Free

Blog #50! I Did It!

Blog number 50! I’m so proud. yet so humbled. I’m proud of myself, because I’ve stuck with it, and I’ve enjoyed the whole ride. Even with a crazy work schedule and life happening here and there (as life tends to do), I’ve hung in there and kept a schedule of, at first, two articles per week, and eventually three blogs per week, plus one vlog per week. Not too bad for a habitual quitter! (LOL!)

I am humbled, because of all of you who read my blogs, give input, and positive encouragement. It thrills, as well as drives me, to know that as I share my life, experiences, ideas, and logic with my readers, I am also helping others to deal with the craziness of their lives.  It feels great to know that my trials, demons, and mistakes have not been for nothing.  Thank you for allowing me to share parts of me, with you.

And a VERY special shout out to the world’s best editor, Dav Peters.  Sometimes, I miss an edit here and there.  If you should ever notice it, it’s me — not Dav! LOL!

It has also been cathartic for me.  As I said in “About MEEEE“, while writing Afrologik, I am growing with you, and we will get through “this thing called life” together.  I am inspired by you all and I hope that I have been as inspiring to you.

We All Go Home At Some Point

It’s kind of funny how, regardless of where the journey of life takes us, and no matter how far off course we may stroll, we always come back to our true selves. It may take longer for some than others, but eventually, we all come home.

Our mental and spiritual “home” is not necessarily who we were groomed to be. We all spend a great deal of our lives asphyxiated with the idea of doing things the way they’re “supposed” to be done, or acting the way that we are “supposed” to act. Responding to the concept of “fake until you make it“, it’s very easy to lose ourselves and conform to the norm.  We fake ourselves out, and lose the true spirit of who we are — usually to appease the masses. In the process, we even give ourselves the pseudo-importance of judging others for not being afraid to be the way they are — without regard to the masses — and without concern for the judgments of others. They are the true superheroes.  Their superpowers are strength and tenacity.  Those who judge, only do so because they are so afraid or ashamed of their lack of nerve, that they can’t understand those who possess the temerity to be, not who they were trained to be, but who they want to be.  It’s much easier to shield your natural self when you fear that you will not be accepted, than it is to express yourself.

The “Mean Ole Lion” Theory

I’m reminded of the movie, “The Wiz.  The “Mean Ole Lion” hid inside of a statue that sat on the steps of a library for a very long time, afraid to face the world, because he was different.  Unlike most lions, he was sensitive — scared even — instead of ferocious. Eventually, he had to break free from the statue, and when he did, he scared the hell out of Dorothy, The Scarecrow, and The Tinman.

A statue on the steps of a library is not unusual; we see statues everyday. However, it is unusual to see lion bust out of a statue — and even more unusual for that lion to burst into song and dance. But that was the kind of lion that Fleetwood Coupe de Ville (that’s the Lion’s real name) was. Even if he was frightened into becoming his true self, he did it!

So many of us humans spend our lives perched on the steps of a library, or any other building, hiding inside of a statue; because like the Lion, we are afraid that, if we show the world who we really are, it will scare the hell out of them.  The Lion being sensitive and not ferocious does not make him any less of a lion — just as you breaking free from your statue and embracing the person that you are makes you no less of a person who deserves love and respect.

Normal People Suck

Normal people pretty much suck.  Think about it; they are content to live in a statue, rather than enjoy life as the people that they are inside.  Normal people are lead by “supposed to be” and “supposed to do“, instead of their minds and souls.   I’ve been there, and it was very uncomfortable.  I can’t imagine how people can spent their entire lives that way; it would bore me to tears.  In fact, it did.

I’ve always been kind of quirky.  I come from a small, close minded town (I love my hometown, but it’s small and close minded), and quirkiness is not exactly accepted there.  While living there, I played the game for years (I played it my own way, but still, I played the game).  Around 2003, while working at a health food store, I met a real life hippy, named Mike.  Even though he and I bumped heads often, I learned a lot from him.  It was Mike who introduced me to holistic remedies and crystals.  I didn’t want to believe in the power of crystals, because it kind of went against everything that I had been taught, but I was very interested in holistic remedies and health food.

Mike, also had a machine that could zap parasites and other impurities in the human body. I’ll be honest, I thought Mike was a little crazy, but that was only because I was conditioned to believe that when you’re sick, you see a doctor, and when your heart is heavy, you pray. What Mike was showing me contradicted those ideas. Mentally, I was interested in everything that he had to say, but I couldn’t let him know that.

Don’t Be Ashamed of Finding Yourself

One day, Mike had a giant clear quartz crystal, and he called me over to the counter and asked me to touch it.  I held my hand near it, and I could feel it vibrating, so I drew my hand back.  Refusing to touch it after that, I looked at Mike and said, “nah man.  I ain’t touching that”, he laughed.  Later that day, when Mike wasn’t around, I went back to the counter and placed both of my hands on the crystal, and again, I felt it vibrating. I picked it up and examined it more closely as it continued to vibrate.  I looked it over, looking for a battery, a cord — something! It was no way that the crystal was not powered by electricity, I thought — but it wasn’t. It was just a powerful crystal. I never told anyone about that experience, because I knew that no one would understand it. However, that experience aroused my interest in the power of crystals, even to this day.

Over the years, I’ve met human beings (very few) whose spirit quality was as high as that of the quartz crystal that I touched on that day. I could feel their vibration, simply by standing near them — even more so if I touched them. Had I not allowed myself the right to be curious, and unashamed about trying new things — even if they went against what I had been taught to believe — I never would have allowed my mind to expand, and educate myself on things that most would dare to investigate — much less believe.  In part, those experiences brought me into myself, and out of my statue.

Energy And Spirit

The mind is very sophisticated.  If you feed it junk, it’ll learn to live on junk, and you’ll find yourself stuck in position, afraid to come into yourself.  And, ostracizing those who have. But, if you feed it life, it will continue to give life, and you will grow and try new things.  You’ll also learn to be happy with the person that you are.

Human beings are walking balls of energy and spirit.  As we travel through life, we cast that energy onto others. You are light, but when you stifle your growth, you are putting a lamp shade on that light.  Be a bald bulb. Be a flame.  Be the sun! Be a source of energy that gives life and promotes growth.  You cannot do any of these things from the inside of a statue.

You are amazing, and can go on to do amazing things, it you break free from  the chains that life, as well as yourself, have placed on you.  Expand your mind, and consider every possibility as beautiful; that’s the short cut to loving life, and loving yourself. Find people who will facilitate your growth.  I have three people in my life who inspire me to be happy with myself, and when I feel weak, I lean on them.  A strong support system is everything!

As “odd” as I know I may seem to be, it feels damned good to be me! I want everyone to feel that way about themselves.  Learn from the “Mean Ole Lion” and break free! If he can do it, you can do it!

“I’m a free spirit. A spirit that evolves. I’m a diamond. I’m just refining it. Polishing it. Glossing it up.”   

~Simeon Rice



Taking Your Confidence Back

Forgetting About What “They” said

How many of you have had a dream of something that you’ve always wanted to do, or become, but the words and perceptions of others deterred you? Perhaps, you’ve always wanted to become an actor, but felt that you didn’t look as good as Denzel Washington or Halle Berry, so you believed that no one would want to see you. Or, maybe you’ve always wanted to be an athlete, but didn’t believe that you’d ever be good enough to play professional sports. Here’s one that I know many of you can relate to: how many of you never went for that person of whom you just knew that you could spend the rest of your life with, because you didn’t think you were good enough for them?

Missed Opportunities

Missed opportunities are nearly impossible to get over. They hang around and haunt us forever, encouraging thoughts of what could have been. We beat ourselves up for years for not taking that life-changing leap — just taking a chance on ourselves. Eventually, we adjust and learn (or pretend) to be content in the safe lifestyles that we have chosen.

Ask yourself, “what or who was it that planted the seed of self doubt inside of you?” Most likely, it wasn’t you. By nature, humans do not elect to put ourselves down. Feelings of inadequacy are always the result of other people, and or forces, whether advertently, or inadvertently. They tell us (in a variety of ways) that we are not good enough. The best defense to that is to hone our crafts and go on to become great, but that doesn’t happen often enough. Most of us learn to accept that we are not pretty enough, tall enough, thin enough, strong enough, or smart enough, and settle into a conventional life where we are not often reminded of our inadequacies. Safe; it is. Happy, it’s usually not.

Growing Pains

We’ve all had dreams when we were younger of what we wanted to be when we “grow up“. Adults seem to love to ask children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. Since we were brave enough to dream, back then, most of us gave elaborate, festive answers to that question. We’d say that we wanted to be everything from doctors, to astronauts, to cowboys — because we believed that we could become those things. Then, somewhere along the way, someone, or some people, began to criticize us and point out (or make up) reasons why our dreams were stupid and unachievable. Usually, this begins in school, and as time progressed in our scholastic careers, the criticism would increase, until we’d begin to believe that our ideas were unrealistic and that we simply were not good enough.

The Cool Kids Clique

Every school has the “Cool Kids Clique“. The group of popular kids who pretty much decided who and what was cool, and what was not. Although this clique was always a minority in numbers compared to the rest of the schools population, those who were not selected to be a part of the “in crowd“, would find themselves measuring their own worth by comparing themselves to the popular kids. In most cases, this is the beginning of self esteem issues that, in many instances, last a lifetime.

Inferiority Complex

When you have your peers, family and the media causing you to feel inferior, you’ll begin to believe that you are not “good enough“. You’ll stop challenging yourself, and eventually, you’ll settle for “good enough“. Not being a part of the “Cool Clique“, or not having the latest fashions, or not looking like the people on TV, are constant reminders of all of things that you feel that you are not. This will cause you to lose the confidence that you had when you were a child, and believed that you could be an astronaut, a cowboy, or a princess. The cool kids were right; it was unrealistic — for you.

Good Enough — Not Good Enough

Settling definitely has a snowball effect — especially if you are settling because you do not believe that you can do a thing or that you deserve better. You’ll settle for a good enough job, a good enough car, a good enough home, and a good enough spouse. Things might look good to outsiders (there are more people living a good enough life, than there are those who are living an extraordinary life), but inside, you’re unhappy. When you look in the mirror, you’ll see the reflection of a person who could be, and should be, more. Not necessarily making more money or acquiring more material things, but being happier, more fulfilled, and simply liking yourself. You’ll also see a person who allowed others to measure their worth, compared to what they found ideal, and worst, you believed them.

Beware: The Spirit Assassinators

Usually, when a person tries to destroy another persons spirit, it’s because they are afraid. They see something in you that makes them feel inferior. They believe that you are capable of achieving great things, and they’d rather destroy you than see you reach your full potential. They don’t have the nerve to step out of their clique and delve into the things that they are really interested in, because that if they try new and/or different things, they may no longer be “cool“.

I’ve always felt bad for the cool kids, because they never had what us outcasts had: the courage to be ourselves, and allow others to be themselves, regardless of who their true “self” was . We didn’t have to be pretentious; we created our own version of “cool” that worked for us, and because of that, we never lost our confidence. Some never caught on to that and have spent their adult lives trying to catch up to the status that they never achieved with people who stunted their growth. Vying for “likes” on social media, and still trying to hang out with the very people who grossly rejected them in high school.

It’s Never Too Late

It’s never too late to challenge yourself. Be daring! Accept the fact that although you may not have been the textbook definition of “cool”, you’re a better version because you’ve defined yourself. You are the judge and jury that decides who you are. When you relinquish your power to those who have elected themselves as the gatekeepers, you are doing yourself a great disservice.

Go back and take back your confidence! Become the cowboy, astronaut, or princess; it’s possible if you believe that you can. I’ll share a secret with you (SHHHHH! Don’t tell anyone), when I was a kid, more than anything, I wanted to be “Mork“. Do you remember that TV show, “Mork & Mindy”? Robin Williams played an alien named Mork, who used to say “Nanu Nanu“, and sit upside down. He was from the planet Ork. Mork didn’t have a spaceship, like most aliens. He flew through space in a giant egg. I loved Mork, and I wanted to be him.

As I grew older, in my own way, I became Mork (a female version, of course). I’m not an alien from planet Ork, but I am kind of an alien on planet Earth, as I am told that I am weird, compared to what is considered usual. I’ve never been in outer space, but I often study the stars and planets, and how they effect us humans. I don’t have a spaceship, or a giant egg, or a demented prophet named Exidor, and a superior called Orson, but I’m lifted by the Universe and God (superior), and elevated by several personal prophets (some are demented, some are not. But they’re still my prophets. Lol!).

At the end of each show, Mork would concentrate and connect with Orson — much like how at the end of my day, I meditate and connect with the Universe.

So, all of my life, I’ve been working towards being Mork, without realizing that I was. When I realized that perhaps I am kind of an alien compared to the norm, and people tried to make derogatory remarks and innuendo, I didn’t care. If I could become my own version of Mork, then you can become a cowboy.

A strong spirit transcends rules”