Stop Making Excuses. Start Making Progress!
I was chatting with a friend the other day, and she was telling me about some things that she has endured in her life. Things that, perhaps, shaped her into the person that she is today. Most of these things were not positive, and in turn, the negativity that she has endured has manifested, and now, precedes her. This happens. And because I know that it does, I didn’t judge her. Instead, I understood and listened to her, because that was what she needed.
After she had gotten everything off of chest, I empathized with her — because I know how all of that feels. When she finished venting, I said to her what I’ve said to myself countless times: “We can’t accept our own madness. When we do, we accept the things that we’ve been through as an excuse, instead of a lesson”.
How many men have you heard say, “I cheat because my father cheated. That’s what men do”. Or, how many women have you heard say, “I choose the wrong men, because my father wasn’t around. I didn’t have an example”. These examples could go on and on. It’s not that I don’t believe that there is truth to these types of situations — however, anyone who can pinpoint the exact events of their lives that caused things to go terribly wrong, also has the power to at least try to do something about it.
It’s Easy To Accept
Accepting that you are influenced by what you had, or didn’t have in your life has caused you to either make bad decisions, or no decision at all, is a way of saying: “This is how it is. This is just how I am“. The fact that this is known by you, means that you can (and perhaps know that you should) do something about it (of course, this is not including cases of gross negligence or offense). 50% of solving any problem, is identifying it. While the other 50% should be spent on solving said problem, it is instead spent on making excuses of why it is okay for you to be the way that you are. After you have been making excuses for a while, you start to believe them, and eventually, it becomes natural to cop an “It is what it is. This is how I am” attitude. This is exactly the point where your growth is stunted.
You’re Not Only Hurting Yourself…
By accepting the situation that you’re in, without trying to correct it, you’re blocking positive people, or events, that the Universe might send to you, for the betterment of your life. As a result, you’ll never find a better life, or see that it is your attitude and excuses that is blocking your progress, happiness, fulfilling relationships, and awesome opportunities. Learning and being exposed to new things is imperative to your evolution. However, accepting your shortcomings is detrimental to your progress. People who care about you the most will start to distance themselves from you, because as much as they try to help, you show them that you’d rather make excuses — they have to protect their energy. These are all things that you have control over.
You Can’t Always Fix It By Yourself
When you’ve accepted unfavorable things about yourself, and have allowed such behavior to persist for years, it’s unrealistic to believe that you can instantly reverse your way of thinking, as well as living. If your issues are repairable, it’s going to take time, and possibly professional help.
I understand that there is stigma attached to therapists and psychiatric help — but consider your life and your happiness. If it takes another set off ears and ideas to help you understand yourself, and to stop blocking your progress, don’t be too proud to take advantage of the resources that you have access to. I can speak on this from experience. I see a therapist as well as a psychiatrist — not because I’m crazy, but because there were things that were in the way of my progress, and I wanted them to go away. This wasn’t something that I was able to do by myself. I, too, had become accustomed to making excuses. Today, that is no longer true of me. I also have mentors that I can turn to when I need a push in the right direction, or a boot in the ass!
Sometimes, we need a life preserver. Don’t be afraid or too proud to reach for one when necessary. Personally, I’m proud that I was strong enough to reach out to therapists, doctors, and mentors. Very possibly, it was the difference between life and death.
Who Do You Love?
Do you love yourself? Do you believe in yourself? Are you where you want to be? You hold the answers to all of these questions. Follow your cosmic design. If this isn’t something that you can do alone — get the help that you need. Don’t try! Trying is lying. Jut get it done. Action is truth!
“We’re A winner. And never let anybody say, boy you can’t make it, ’cause a feeble mind is in your way”.
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