How To Converse Effectively
Ever been in a conversation where someone was speaking (usually loudly) about things that they clearly have no knowledge of? And, to make matters worse, that at no point do they have the good sense to be quiet, listen, and learn. Instead, they choose to voluntarily show themselves as ignorant. I’ve been around this type too many times. Sometimes, these people were friends, sometimes family, but every time, I wanted to scream, “WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP!!!”
This type of person is never invited into conversations. Usually, they’re in earshot of others who are conversing, and although they have minimal knowledge of the subject being discussed, they jump in and begin speaking expertly. I believe that James Brown called this, “Talkin Loud And Sayin Nothin“.
Not only is this person making an enormous fool of him or herself, but they are annoying others who may be listening to learn. Also, they are pissing the speaker off! When it’s all over, this foolish person usually walks away with his or her chest puffed out — truly believing that they’ve just dropped knowledge. It’s a damned shame.
When Smart People Are Proven Wrong
One of my favorite things to do is converse with one or more intelligent people. For me, that’s a party! Now, let me make this clear, I love conversing with intelligent people. I would rather not have a deep verbal exchange with a smart person. There is definitely a difference (to me).
The Difference Between Smart And Intelligent (according to me)
Smart People – The bulk of their knowledge comes from books that they’ve read only for academic purposes. They’re not actually “thinkers”, but they’ve been trained. Smart people are very practical, and probably thrived scholastically. They regurgitate information more than form their own opinions. Smart people are usually not risk takers, and are happiest in a safe environment — all of the time. They are so conformed that they deem anything that is out of their comfort zone as weird, strange, or odd. Although smart people are well informed and resourceful, they usually lack in depth.
Intelligent People – Very well read on subjects of interest. They read several books on a subject of interest before forming an opinion — rarely, if ever, regurgitating information. Intellectuals are not practical and may or may not have gotten good grades in school. Intelligent people are risk takers and not very fond of comfort zones (mentally of physically), they’re always looking for something new to learn. They’re not afraid to stand up and stand out.
My Problem With Smart People
Academically smart people take serious offense to being proven wrong, and become instantly attitudinal — especially if they’ve been proven wrong by someone that they didn’t think was as smart as they are. The “go to” phrases of smart people are “That’s what I meant!” or, “That’s what I was saying“, when the truth is: “NO! That is NOT what you meant, and it is NOT what you were saying!”
Admittedly, I’m that jerk who will Google what is being said as it it being said. This is not because I don’t trust people, but because, should I find myself in a position to share information that is new to me, I want to make sure that it’s accurate. I would never want to give anyone information that’s incorrect. However, smart people have a serious need to be right — all of the time. According to them, they are infallible. They have no need to learn from anyone else, because they already know everything. Because of all of these reasons, I try to keep it short with smart people.
But Intelligent People…
Intelligent people are GOLDEN! (To me, at least). I am a sapiosexual. I find Intelligence sexy. With intellectuals, no one is right, and no one is wrong. They base their opinions on bought knowledge, as well as taught knowledge. But, the best thing about intellectuals is that I’ve never heard one say, “That’s what I meant“, or, “That’s what I just said“, because, they realize that sometimes, they are wrong.
Small Minds Use Big Words
Why do people think that they sound smarter when they use big words? Let me make this abundantly clear:
In fact, even when used in the correct context, it sounds stupid. It’s overkill.
I’m a logophile (speaking of big words. Lol!). I love words, and I have a fairly large vocabulary. However, I probably use about one-eighth of it. Why? Because it’s not necessary. My message means nothing if no one can understand what I’m talking about. More than anything else, I use my vocabulary for the purpose of understanding others.
When speaking, regardless of the size of your vocabulary, employ the KISS theory: Keep It Simple Stupid. You can say more by saying less. Most of all, don’t use any word that you can’t define. I can’t stress that enough. Using words that you don’t know the definition of, makes you sound as ridiculous as the person from the first example, who talks loud, and says nothing.
How Will You Communicate?
Being a good communicator means being a good listener, and well as an informed speaker. So:
* Don’t speak on things that you aren’t knowledgeable of.
* Don’t shout!
* Accept that you are sometimes wrong. Take it as a learning experience. #Eachoneteachone
* Don’t use words that you can’t define!
And if all else fails…
“Shut Up Already, Damn!”