The Art of Not Jumping The Gun
Okay, so, the last week was very up and down for me. Bad spirits were trying their hardest to attach themselves to me. For the most part, I stayed cool — that wasn’t easy.
Valentine’s Day was the worst. Not because it was Valentine’s Day (I’m not melodramatic or romantic, so, I’ve got little use for Valentine’s Day). It just happened that February 14th was not a good day. As always, I awakened pleasantly and ready to start a fresh new day that was full of possibilities. However, that went south very swiftly and echoed throughout the rest of the day. I had gotten into a bad argument that morning — a very avoidable argument, that wasn’t my fault (unless trying to help someone was my fault — maybe it was), then I got some text messages that pissed me off, and I got a couple that made me smile. Nonetheless, overall, it wasn’t a good day. Try as I may to save it, by around 5:00pm, I had decided to let it go, accept that the balance was off, and agree to start over on the next day. Of course, this took the pressure off, and although I no longer wanted to jump up and pimp slap the moon for shining, I didn’t go to bed as peacefully as I’d have liked to.
So, On The Next Day…
Friday morning, I awakened refreshed and replenished — ambitious to start a new day that would be productive and pleasing in every way. After completing my morning regimens and routines, I began logging into my workspace.
Good Vibes playlist? CHECK
Okay, let’s get it in!
The day started off great! I made miracles happen. I made people smile, laugh, and feel great — whether I was helping my customers with emergency or leisurely services, I was spreading nothing but good vibes. I can always tell when I’m having a cool work day, because I find myself dancing at my desk, and typing to the beat of what ever song is playing. I was doing both. This was more like it. And, it was a Friday! What a great way to kick the weekend off!
My workday had ALMOST ended the way it started: PHENOMENALLY! Before logging out of my workspace for the day, I followed my usual “end of shift” routine, which consists only of: checking for last minute emails, looking at the next shift’s schedule, and logging out of all workspace systems.
While checking my emails, I saw one that contained my schedule for the month of April — which would be my permanent schedule. I was excited because a week ago, I had bid on about 25 Monday through Friday shifts. Of the 25 bids, about 23 of them were early morning shifts (which I preferred), and 2 of them were for evening shifts (which I really didn’t want, but at least they were Monday through Friday — that mattered most to me). Smiling big and bobbing my head to the beat of “Fall In Love (Your Funeral)” by Erykah Badu, as it played in the background, confident that by the ratio of my bids, I had gotten a good shift, I opened the email. Immediately upon reading the schedule, my smile had melted, my face formed a “WTF” stare, and I could no longer hear music.
Incase you haven’t guessed, I got a shitty schedule. Monday through Friday, but 1:00pm until 10:00pm. That not only sucked, but it threatened to throw my balance off — AGAIN! I shut my computer down, and walked out of the room, while mumbling expletives.
Minutes later, I found myself staring at the moon through my patio doors. As I stared, I began thinking out loud to the moon — kinda ranting my disdain for the company that I work for. I was saying things like:
“I hate them, and they hate me. Clearly, it is their paramount objective to fudge my life up and make things unnecessarily difficult for me. I can’t WAIT to get away from them! It’s like, every two to three months, they have to find a reason to bend me over! This stupid schedule is going to fudge up my Cali plans! Plus, when will I find the time to write three Afrologik articles a week? They’ve just thrown a monkey wrench in my plans. This is BS!”
In my pisstivity (I know that’s not a word, but roll with me), I had realized that I was speaking all of that negativity into the planets and stars. That’s no good — and I know better! So, I took my pity party into the kitchen. I sat at the table and continued to stew about it. Eventually, I picked up my phone and started whining to my number one “go-to” person, my daughter, Justice. I sent her a text that detailed what my stupid job had done, and how I felt that they’d thrown a monkey wrench into my plans.
The Monkey Wrench
As I’ve shared with you in previous blogs, I’m in the process of relocating to Los Angeles (and I’m so excited! It’s all that I can talk about). I have a goal date, but it’s tentative in that it will probably happen sooner. Part of my “Cali plan” (as I call it), is to take the California real estate class while here in Tennessee (online, of course). After I pass the class, my son, Gabriel, and I will journey to California together (he wants to see the state), and I’ll take and pass the real estate exam. From there, I will find and convince a real estate company to sponsor and allow me three months to fully relocate to Los Angeles. And, they’ll do it, because I’m like Toni Childs from “Girlfriends” — I specialize in results (finger-snap)!
I work for a company that has branches all over the world, so there’s a chance that I’ll be able to transfer my current position. This means that I would have income until my real estate career picks up, and I’m putting money together to have as a cushion. I constantly watch the job market in LA, and with my Customer Service and Hospitality background, I won’t have a lot of trouble finding work (temporarily. I’d rather not work in either of those fields) until things stabilize. And, if nothing else, LAX is always hiring, and then, there’s always background work (I’ve been doing my homework). Being in Los Angeles has been my dream since I was a very small child, so I’ve got to make it happen. However, it will never happen if I cannot get to step number one: TAKING THE DAMNED CLASS! My current job had totally screwed that up for me (the bastards!). That’s the monkey wrench.
Now, Back To My Chat With Justice
While talking to Justice, she asked some questions, such as: “is it too late to change the schedule? Can you bid again?”. Yes, to the first question, no to the second. By then, I had passed mad and was traveling towards irate. I told my daughter that this job is priority #5, and that I can’t imagine what would be #6. And, that I’m not about to let a bunch of mfers that I don’t know or like, bind me to a life that I don’t want — regardless of the repercussions. So, I’d keep with my plans as previously arranged.
Justice disagreed. She believed that I would wear myself out and that by forcing something to fit, I’d be contradicting everything that I said in “Never Chase ANYTHING“.
“Dammit” for a multitude of reasons, but mostly, because I can’t stand having my own advice thrown in my face (one of the drawbacks of being a genius…LOL!). Because of that, I continued to make my case. It didn’t take long for her to acquiesce — mostly because she knew I wasn’t going to change my mind (and because she was probably tired of talking about it).
Fast Forward A Few Minutes
I’m making the salad that I’ve been wanting all day. As I chop up lettuce and tomatoes, I’m thinking about the situation:
The real estate class is only two weeks, and it’s online. I can take the class in the mornings, and I’ll still have time to study. As far as writing for Afrologik, and any other blog, I could write at night and on weekends — which is when I usually write anyway. I can make this work. And, if there are some forces out there that are against me, what better way is there of kicking their asses, than to win anyway?
I started visualizing myself in the life that I want. I saw myself working in the real estate field, writing, and living a comfortable and enjoyable life, in a space that I love. I also saw myself hitting the beach — often. That was confirmation for me that it’s worth it to use my time wisely and make it work.
Revelation And Understanding
You see, even though I had set it up, and believed that the day was going to be great (and it was), I was about to allow one situation to throw me off of my square, without thinking it through. Instead, at the first sign of discomfort, I allowed myself to sulk and become upset. All it took was for me to step back for a moment and assess the situation, to learn that a minor inconvenience would not affect my my plans, unless I gave it permission to do so.
I also have to hold myself accountable for the unfavorable shift. When I made that bid, I asked the Universe for a Monday through Friday schedule — I was not specific in my request. Essentially, I got what I asked for. We MUST be specific when making requests to our higher power. I know better!
Later that night, while meditating, I thought, what if this was a test? I imagined the Universe’s position as:
“Okay, she seems serious about this move. She’s studying, researching, reaching out to others, and examining her resources. I like that. I want her to have the life that she wants, she deserves to have, and has been awaiting her. Still, I need to see how serious she is, before I gift her, her destiny “.
If that was the test, and I was too angry and [feeling] defeated, to rearrange my time to allow things to happen on schedule, I might have acquiesced and became accepting of things staying the way they are, instead of working on myself and ensuring that I’m ready for all of the greatness that is to come.
Don’t Change Your Mind, Change Your Attitude
Things don’t always go the way we want them to go, but that is never a reason to give in. When obstacles come, find a way around them. There is ALWAYS a way. Make it work for you. You may not have to change your plan, but instead, rearrange it. Yes, there are forces that are working against you; there always have been. If you’re onto something, there always will be. Who’s stronger — you or the forces? Sometimes, your higher power needs confirmation of how badly you really want the things that you ask for, before those things are gifted to you (the Universe don’t wanna be gifting and then ungifting things. Ain’t nobody got time for that). What you are willing to sacrifice, and how you manage your time, will indicate how serious you are.
Don’t allow monkey wrenches and curveballs throw you off course! That’s what they are designed to do. Stay in the game. You’ve got no idea of how close you are to your dream life. #BOSSUP
“Take your time and think it through, if this is what you wanna do.”
~Prince “1+1+1 is 3“
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