What Do You Want People To Say About You

You Have Control Over The Way You Are Received

I’ve heard the questions asked: “If you died today, what would you want said in your eulogy?” Or, “What would you like for your obituary to say about you?”. While I don’t disagree with those exercises, I think a more important question is: If you are in a room full of strangers, right now, what would you want them to say about you, after you leave their presence? What kind of impression would you like to leave on a room full of strangers, that you most likely, will never see again? Contrary to popular belief, you have more control over this than you’ve been lead to believe.

The Reception of Others

“You can’t help how others feel about you” and, “You’re not responsible for what others think of you“, is not exactly true. Except for in the cases of emotional indifference, such as jealousy (which is more rare than you probably believe it to be — but it certainly happens), and, of course that there are people who are just unhappy, you have total control over what others think of you. People will still have respect for you and your opinions, even if they disagree with you. It’s the delivery that has an effect on others.

What Kind of Energy Do You Give Off?

People usually respond to happiness with more happiness. Even if they’ve had a horrible day, typically, smiles are reciprocated. Conversely, anger is usually responded to with more anger, and so on with all emotions. I’ve been on each end of the spectrum.

By nature, I’m a smiler, I always have been. Even when I’m dying inside, if I have to go out into the world, I smile and speak to everyone that I face. I’ve always been very approachable (a gift and a curse). There’s a good side and a bad side to that. The good side is that it is confirmation that my aura is strong, positive, and powerful, so even on my worst days, I’m giving off positive energy to those around me. The bad side is that being an approachable smiler, makes people believe that they can strike up conversations with me, and sometimes, I don’t feel like talking. Although, I don’t have to deal with the bad side very often, it has, at times, resulted in what many people would call rudeness. But I think frankness is a better term. Sure, I could be more polite in those situations, but to be honest, lots of times, I’m not. After all, if I don’t want to talk, I shouldn’t have to, right? Yes, that is correct. Still, unless the person who approached me was rude, vulgar, or explicit, it was I who changed the climate of that energy– therefore, leaving a bad impression. I’m not suggesting that anyone should endure intrusive people and allow themselves to become trapped in a conversation that they’d rather not be in. I am, however, suggesting that there are other ways of exiting these situations with kindness and patience — without ruining the energy, or tarnishing your aura.

Sometimes, it’s very difficult to balance, because when I walk into a place, and people seem happy to see me, it makes me feel good, as I am also happy to see them. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean that I want to, (or have time to) chat.

Anger And Indifference Responds With Anger And Indifference

If you walk around with a scowl on your face, not making eye contact with others, and not smiling back at people, the responses that you will get will mirror your behavior. Just as in the happiness example, you have control over the energy that you emit. Contented and peaceful people will not allow a bad aura to interrupt their vibe, so it’s not likely that you will attract pleasant people into your life.

Not Everyone Is Outgoing

You don’t have to be the textbook definition of outgoing to emit good vibes and leave good impressions. Being reclusive, does not affect the spirit of your being. Let your spirit guide you, and know that you are a good person, and the good person that you are, will precede you. Good souls can easily identify other good souls. As we know, like attracts like.

We don’t have to do anything excessive to leave a good impression on those who are exposed to us. First, we must know and trust who we are, and be ourselves. Knowing yourself — sensitivities, vulnerabilities, and what makes you happy, sad, or mad — makes it near impossible to be desensitized to the feelings of others. If you are happy with yourself, regardless of what life is doing or what is going on around you, you’ll exude that spirit into the Universe, and it will be returned to you. It feels good to make others feel good.

Sunflowers, And Smiles, And Stuff

Sometimes, I wear large sunflowers in my hair, because I love sunflowers — they make me happy. Also, I do it to pay tribute to one of my favorite people, Billie Holiday (I know that she wore Gardenias, but you know I have to do it my own way). What I’ve noticed is that, when I wear the sunflowers, not only am I happy, but so are the people that I chance upon publicly — which makes me feel doubly blissful. I guess people love sunflowers, big hair, wide eyes, and a smile. Who knew? 🤷🏽‍♀️

What Do You Want People To Say About You?

You, and only you, have control over the energy that you leave behind. Don’t allow your situations or your circumstances to precede you. Remember that you are you, and only you can define you — not your situations. Regardless of what you are going through, you are required to give your best, and be the best person that you can be. In doing that, you might learn that whatever you’re going through is not so bad, or, you might find a solution. Besides, you never know, your smile or kind words could be the best thing that happens to someone on that day. Plenty of times, my day was made by a kind word from someone. I always let those people know that they’ve made my day. Whenever I say that to someone, I really mean it.

People will remember the energy that you radiate, sometimes even more than they remember words, actions, or faces. If you leave them with good memories, they’ll have good things to say about you.

Whatever makes an impression on the heart, seems lovely in the eye.”

~Saadi

5 Replies to “What Do You Want People To Say About You”

  1. I admit, as an introvert it’s hard to make eye contact, or be sure when it’s the right moment to make eye contact(I screw this up😕), say hello, and/or smile, so I shy away mostly. More than likely, I’m probably viewed as stuck up but I’m not, just awkward.
    I’m working on being more sure of myself because I too believe in the law of attraction.
    On the flipside, I work well with small groups or individually and I make a difference. I want people to say that they know me, the real me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You can be introverted and still leave a good impression. The eye contact thing is mostly my thing (I’ve been told that it’s creepy…lol!). I’m sure that you leave awesome impressions! Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mannnnnnn it matters more than we admit, for jobs, all things that hinge on our impressions.. this is a good subject, cause most people make plural assumptions, instead of singular cause it takes time and effort to really determine who a person is or isnt based on thought. A lot of layers, of sociology and conditioning are involved , a great man said if a man thinks at 50 as he did at 30 he’s wasted a lot of time, great subject for further study ..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Plus the fact that it’s now trendy to walk around with a chip on your shoulder. It may be cool to the person who’s doing it, but it doesn’t pay off very well in the end. Thanks for reading!

      Like

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