The Journey of the Human Mind: Part 2

Living Life In The Now

“All of your dreams can become reality. My dial reaches full, but you’ve only turned me up halfway. Turn me up, and alpha and theta waves will spew from your pores. Knowledge, peace, happiness, and prosperity, will be placed at your feet. Let’s create. Solve. Love. Accomplish. And unify.”

~Roy Ayers, “I Am Your Mind Pt 2

Life In The Now

I know that we’re all busy working, raising families, perhaps, trying to start businesses, dreaming, and trying to accomplish goals, and sometimes, we’re busy doing nothing. At the core of the hustle and bustle of taking care of business, and trying to make a living, is the human tendency to spend most of our time looking too far ahead. By overthinking, we easily take for granted what we have right now. And, right now, is forever.

It May Be Hard To Believe But…

The truth is that we will never achieve the things that we want out of life — knowledge, peace, happiness, love, and prosperity– if we spend all of our energy on tomorrow — what could be, what we fear, and being overly prepared.

It’s Not Our Fault, Entirely

All of our lives, we’ve been being trained, by our parents, teachers, church, and even society itself, that the way to ensure a successful tomorrow, is by preparing for it today. Although that is logical and true, it’s that conditioning that can interfere with us enjoying and making good use of today.

The fear of failure, not having enough, not being enough, and not fitting into a societal mold that dictates what success is “supposed” to look like, detracts us from learning and being our true selves. Because we deny ourselves of ourselves, we never really turn our minds all the way up. Instead, we keep ourselves at a volume that the multitudes can tolerate. So, we live our lives conforming to what “they” say is the way that we are to live. In turn, we never fully realize who we really are.

Little You

When we were kids, we were our true selves. We were outspoken; we were cosmically intelligent and free. Because, we were not exclusively concerned with what other people expected of us. We knew what we wanted, and we were brave enough to imagine, as well as act out our imaginations. For most humans, childhood is the only time that we’ve ever lived out loud.

As we grew older, teachers, parents, and even life itself, began to dim the light that was inside of us, and we would begin to lose our innocence. It was time for those who groomed us to begin teaching us to be responsible adults. Although it is very important that we know how to take care of our responsibilities, our responsibilities are not always right now. There’s never any reason to over plan and insist on being overly prepared, if you are taking care of right now. Put money away, right now! Work, right now! By doing that, all of your tomorrows will take care of themselves.

Are You Seizing The Day, Or Are You Sweating Tomorrow?

All you can do, is all you can do — period. While sweating things that you can’t control or fix, today, you are wasting your right now. Worrying about what’s to come (which might never come), is counterproductive, and it takes you out of the moment. This very moment, is the only time and space that you truly have. As the saying goes, “Tomorrow is not promised”, neither is the next minute. We don’t know how much time we have on this planet, so don’t spend the majority of it worrying about the next moment — which may never come.

Emergency On Planet Earth

As corrupt as our planet can be, it’s still a beautiful planet, with a lot to offer — but only if we are living on it. Each minute that we spend agonizing over things that we have no control over, we are inviting death into our orbit. We merely exist; we don’t live.

Be at one with the Universe, the Creator, the Gods, Allah — whomever or whatever you choose to call your higher power, and trust the process as well as nature. For, just as the nature trusts the process, takes care of itself, and live only in the now…so can we.

Your Dreams Are Waiting To Be Realized By YOU!

Everything that we want — love, success, happiness — is completely achievable. In fact, our dreams already live inside of us — we just have not tuned into them, yet. However, none of us will figure any of it out, if our minds are congested with tomorrow — which doesn’t exist, or the past — which also, doesn’t exist. We must allow ourselves to breathe, relax, and get into the rhythm of our spirits — right now! And, in that meditation (even if it’s walking meditation) we will find the key that unlocks the door to life that we all desire, individually.

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”

~Oprah Winfrey

Small Gestures Make Big Differences

Make Someone’s Day Today

While lying in bed last night, waiting for sleep to befall me, I remembered the first time that I had to spend five days in the hospital with childhood asthma. I was in the second grade.

Obviously, I was sick, but that fact was unbeknownst to me. When I was a kid, I never knew when I was sick — I felt fine. My mother always told me when I was sick. On this occasion, apparently, I was very ill, so my mother took me to the emergency room. While there, doctors and nurses gave me liquid medicine — yuck! (To this day, I’d rather be sick than take liquid medicine). They also ran a battery of tests, which included breathing treatments with a nebulizer. Eventually, it was decided that I needed to be admitted to the hospital until my condition improved.

Upon hearing that I wouldn’t be going home with my mother that night, I became inconsolable. I cried and cried, mostly because I was scared. Since being in the emergency room, I had been stuck with needles, given yucky medicine, and forced to breathe into a whacky contraption — and this was all while my mother was present. What would they do to me when she’s not around?

My father had to leave work to come and see about me. By this time, all I wanted to do was go home and be with my parents and my little sister. Besides, at that time, the only time that I didn’t sleep at home, was when I was with my grandparents.

My First Hospital Experience

A while later, nurse took me, by wheelchair, to the room that I would spend the next five days in. I was given a backless gown that was decorated with cartoon characters, and placed in an adjustable hospital bed. My parents had calmed me down, a little. Shortly after regaining some level calm, an evil nurse came into the room with a needle. As she stuck the needle into my hand, I screamed as though she was sawing me in half! She taped my hand up and tried to comfort me, to no avail. It was decided: I HATED THAT PLACE!

The next morning, before my mother arrived, a doctor came into my room and shoved a popsicle stick down my throat, and then made me breathe into the horrible contraption, that left a salty taste in my mouth. He turned out to be rather friendly and told me that I was doing well, and if I continued to do so, I could go home soon.

Over the next few days, I had many visitors, most of whom came bearing gifts. My classmates had made “Get Well Soon” cards for me, and soon, I was well enough to go home.

When I think back on that experience, I am certain that the smiles and love that I received from the multitude of people who visited me, as well as the cards that my classmates made, were instrumental to my recovery.

Smile On, Pass It On

As a Customer Service Agent, I get plenty of chances to give back to the Universe the love and kindness that I was given while in the hospital. For example:

Hip Hop Changed The Day

A customer called, in need of a rental car, because his had broken down (I think he said that it was his transmission). Although he was very upset, he struggled to stay cordial with me. I understand how it is when car trouble strikes. I’ve been there several times. When I asked the customer what kind of vehicle he preferred, he responded, “I don’t care. Gimme a goat wearing Jordans, as long as it will get me to work tomorrow“. I said to him, “Oh, you’re a Nike man. My goat would have to be wearing Shell Toes. I’m an Adidas woman and an old school Hip Hop Head. Wearing Adidas is how I pay homage to the culture“. This lead to almost 20 minutes of dialogue about Hip Hop. We talked about who are the greatest MC’s, the evolution of Hip Hop, and where it is (or isn’t) today.

My calls are only supposed to be four minutes long; but I didn’t care. During the course of the call, that customers demeanor had changed from irritable to relaxed. I could hear his smile through his voice. If only for a moment, he wasn’t thinking about his transmission or the unexpected expense of fixing his car or renting one. He felt better…if only for a little while.

Bye Bye Dirty South, Hello Hollywood!

On another day, I was helping a lady whose car had broken down, leaving her stranded at work. This woman was VERY unhappy. As I began gathering information from her, I noticed a mild Bostonian accent, albeit, she was making her reservation in North Carolina. “Oh, she must be a transplant “, I figured. By what should have been the middle point of the call, the Bostonian accent was becoming more and more Southern as her anger increased. Then, mid-sentence, she noticed that her Southern drawl had slipped into her Northern vernacular, and she said, “DAMN IT! Now that damned Southern dialect has come out! I’ve got to get out of the South!”. She didn’t know that she was preaching to the choir at that point.

On top of the frustration of having to repair one car and rent another, she had disappointed herself by allowing her environmental Southern accent to reveal itself.

You from Boston?” I asked. She responded “Yes“. I told her that I’m from Michigan, and that I also live in the South now. I shared with her that I have the same problem — sometimes I sound Southern, and when I do, I immediately check myself. We talked about how we don’t care for the conformist South, and are looking forward to leaving it in the rear view. She and I laughed about it and continued with the reservation.

Just before ending the call, I asked her where she plans on living after she escapes the “Dirty South“, she said “LA“. I said:

OH MY GOD!!! I’m moving to Los Angeles!

After laughing and talking about our “California Love“, I said to her, “We are going to run into each other in ‘LA-LA Land‘. We’ve never seen each other, and most likely, won’t even remember each other’s names, but our spirits will recognize each other. It’s destined“. She agreed, and we ended the call.

When that call began, the customer was fit to be tied. By the end of the call, she and I had found common ground — TWICE. Before the call ended, she was laughing and smiling. Even if only temporarily, she wasn’t thinking about the problems at hand.

Offer Smiles, Not Counsel

When someone is having a bad day, or has just gotten bad news, the last thing that they want is counsel! Most likely, you’re not going to say anything that they don’t already know or haven’t heard before. There is a time for counsel, and that time is never at the onset of a problem. Advising too soon only makes it worse, as it resembles being a “know it all“.

During my five day hospital stay, I saw that people loved and cared enough about me to take time out of their day to sit with me, and classmates cared enough to spend their art time (which is huge in second grade) making cards for me. Since this would not be my last time spending a week in the hospital for asthma (it happened again the next year), the next stay was much easier, because I knew what to expect, and I knew that people loved me enough be there (and because I knew that they’d bring gifts!).

My customers called with anger in their voices, as car trouble has the ability to ruin anyone’s day. When they learned that they were speaking to someone who, although detached to their situations, cared enough to take advantage of a chance to get their minds off of their troubles for a while, they felt temporary relief.

Smiles And Laughter Are Contagious

As we travel this planet, we are often offered the grand opportunity to brighten someone else’s day. The tiniest gestures — things that we probably don’t even know that we’re doing, can make someone else forget about their troubles for a while. A simple smile can remind a person that there are always possibilities. Small gestures of kindness can garner big results.

Give love as you are receptive of love!

We all have our up and down days, but it’s not hard to smile and say thank you.”

~Yvette Nicole Brown

Tough People: Not So Tough

Letting Your Guard Down And Taking Risks

I’m sure that we all have known at least one person in our lives whose heart could not be penetrated. Try as we may, we just couldn’t love them into accepting love. I’m not speaking of romantic love (well, not exclusively romantic love), but all kinds of love — friendships, coworkers, or family. Regardless of how hard we’ve tried, we couldn’t seem to cut past their tough exterior.

Trying to reach the center of these kinds of people can be exhausting, and giving up on them, eventually, is not the most difficult thing to do. It’s very difficult for those who are trying to show compassion only to have it returned with disregard or worse, insult.

I’m Not Only The Tough Guy President, I’m Also A Member

As with all Afrologik articles, I speak from experience. I’ve been guilty of being the person with the impenetrable heart, so I know a cold heart is the result of experiences. When life throws us human beings blows, there are a couple of ways of dealing with it:

1. Learn from it and try to make better decisions, moving forward. Or, accept that every day is not a sunny day, and not all people are pleasant.

Or

2. Promise yourself that it will never happen to you again. Then, build an invisible wall around yourself that prevents anyone or anything from getting close enough to cause you hurt, ever again.

Won’t Make A Fool Out of Me…

For years, I kept an invisible wall around myself. To this day, I will still flip the switch that will erect that wall. My reasons for doing that are most commonly: feeling abandoned, betrayed, and of course, hurt. Another reason is to avert anyone from getting too close to me. I’m afraid of my feelings being mocked or that they won’t be returned. “It’s better to bail than it is to stand there like a fool, waiting for both shoes to drop“, I’d reason to myself. So, I developed an “Eff it. I don’t care” mentality. At first, it was phony, but as time passed, it became very real. Before I had realized, I didn’t care about anything, and very few people. I’d respond to everything with sarcasm, and sometimes, blatant evil. I’ve really hurt the feelings of some people, and turned even more away. “Eff it. Eff them“, I’d say to myself, mentally.

It had gotten so bad that I began to dread human contact. I couldn’t stand for anyone to be in my space, “three feet!“, I’d say to anyone who has gotten too close to me.

*Okay, to be honest, I still have a problem with strangers being too close to me. For this reason, I’m uncomfortable in malls, concerts, or any place that draws a crowd. At stores, I prefer to use self check out.

I wasn’t always that way. Experiences with people, hurt, deception, and the like made me distrust all people. I actually thought this was cool. While everyone else was taking chances on other people, only to fall on their faces, I was fine. I was a statue inside of a velvet rope. I was there to be seen — perhaps admired — but never touched.

“Sadness is for suckers!”

~Papa Fuerte, “The Get Down”

As stoic as I had become, ironically, I couldn’t stop smiling. Even now, naturally, I’m a smiler. Even when I’m thinking “Eff you“, I’m smiling. My aura has always been big and red, yellow, and orange. As much as I tried to be unapproachable, it never happened. It wasn’t natural. Because of that one little thing, people were (are) drawn to me, and I couldn’t do a thing about it, even though I really did not want them there. I was the tough cat. I didn’t need anyone.

Realization

It took several months of pondering for me to realize that I’m not really a “Tough Cat” (as my grandfather used to call me), I was a fraidy cat! I had allowed life and its situations to harden me and scare me so badly that I was afraid to take chances. I thought that if I was to take a risk, I’d risk my sanity. Conversely, living inside of an invisible wall is certainly insane.

Be aware that the tougher a person portrays themselves to be, the more afraid they are. Those who are not afraid to take a chance on love, life, and change, are truly the “Tough Cats”. It takes guts to cry and risk looking foolish. Hurt, as unpleasant as it is, is a sign of life. You have to be alive to feel. Dead people don’t feel anything — not only the physically dead, but also the mentally dead.

Some people are afraid to learn new things, try new things, or understand other cultures, (I thank my lucky stars that this part never happened to me). They stay in their boxes with likeminded people who are not encouraging to their evolution. They’re afraid to challenge the things that they have been conditioned to think and do. It scares them that if they learn more, do more, and accept more, they will no longer fit into the presentation of themselves that they created.

Life is all about taking risks. Sometimes the risks have good results, sometimes they don’t 🤷🏽‍♀️. When they don’t, the lesson is; regroup, recoup, and move forward. The lesson is NEVER to “shut yourself off from the world“. The Universe needs each and every one of us to have open minds so we can receive the greatness that we are entitled to.

There was a reason why while I was in my wall, putting on a tough guy facade, I couldn’t stop smiling. That reason is that, that kind of behavior from me wasn’t cosmically sound. I had made a choice to go against nature and imprison my spirit, however, my spirit was too big — it could not fit inside of that wall. Upon disassembling that wall, people and opportunities started coming to me, and I was open to it all. I’ve been places, and I’ve allowed people into my life. There is much more to come.

“Life Is Good”

~Mitch, “Paid In Full”

I haven’t taken that wall down, completely, but I can now see over it. Maybe one day, I’ll no longer need it. Maybe I’ll always need it, now and then🤷🏽‍♀️. As for now, I can say with honesty, that it’s pretty cool to be free.

“It’s the lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.”

~ Muhammad Ali

Keeping Your Cool When People Are Trying To Take It

How To Not Lose It!

Not so long ago, I had a hair-trigger temper, and would quickly become upset and curse people out. Regardless of how minor an offense was, they all seemed major to me. Caring nothing about whether I was right or wrong, what was most important to me was that my feelings were fully known. Usually, after thoroughly expressing my position by cursing a person out, I’d feel much better. Feeling that I had set that person straight for their heinous (or not so heinous) offense, I’d walk off into the sunset — my arms swinging behind me, like George Jefferson.

A bruised ego can be an ugly, and potentially dangerous thing. When we feel disrespected (a word that I feel is often misused), we instantly go into defense mode — even if it’s not necessary.

The Loudest Person In The Room, Is Also The Weakest Person In The Room

Some people choose to enter situations, or go around people with the intent of “stirring the poop pot“. They’re basically verbal riot provocateurs. They believe that reacting with hostility proves that they don’t “take crap” from anyone. Others, react that way because their egos are fragile, so they are always prepared to protect said ego, and avoid hearing or seeing something that makes them feel bad about themselves.

I’ve never entered a situation solely to cause confusion, but I know people who do just that. However, my problem was that my skin wasn’t thick enough to take the words and actions of other people who preferred to be offensive towards me. So, I’d distribute verbal retribution without assessing the situation at hand, the source of the offense, or if it was something that would have any effect on any part of my life, other than my ego.

Since I’ve always been a small person (5’3 and thin) I had been picked on and considered an easy target for jokes and bullying. With that being the case, I believed that if I allowed this kind of behavior towards me to continue, it would never stop. Being a bit strange, compared to my peers, didn’t help. Because I suffered from “Little Persons Syndrome” cursing people out became my defense mechanism.

What’s Your Ism?

Everyone suffers from some sort of syndrome or –ism — they are our weaknesses. When we feel cornered, we act as a cornered raccoon would; we claw and bite our attackers until they are no longer able to attack us. For some, claws are words. For others, claws can be physical violence. In either case, it’s avoidable. When someone makes us feel bad, making them feel worse is not the best solution (even though it might feel good for us). In fact, it’s not a solution at all. That act alone only brings us down to their level, and when that happens, we’ve given the opposition an easy win.

With Time Comes Maturity (😫😫😫)

As I’ve gotten a little older, I’m more selective in deciding which offenses are deserving of verbal wrath. Still, I am human, and there are times when I allow other people to get the best of me, even though I practice being peaceful, positive, and patient. I’ve always had a razor sharp wit (apparently, it’s hereditary), and that has caused me problems in the past, because I didn’t control it. I’d let emotions take over and I’d say anything. Since learning to control my wit, and use better words, I no longer feel the need to become loud and explicit. Wit can be distributed politely, so vulgar people are usually defenseless to it, as they only know how to respond angrily. I’m not necessarily suggesting that this is the best way to handle these instances, but it works for me.

The best solution is to ask yourself if whatever it is that’s been said or done is going to interrupt life as you know it (most of the time, it won’t). However, stooping to the level of someone who does not have enough self control to be tactful, could repeatedly play in your mind, preventing your progress. The way that you choose to respond is ultimately your choice. Ask yourself if it’s worth it — even better, if they’re worth it.

It’s natural to want to return hurt unto someone who has hurt you. People are going to upset us now and then, and we are going to upset people as well — that’s human nature, and humans are fallible. It boils down to self control, and that’s not an easy task. Even the most passive person has desires to lash out at those who have offended them. Those people are able to practice restraint, even though they may be scrutinized for it.

Protect Your Energy

Never allow anyone to disturb your energy and spirit, as that is the core of who you are. By acknowledging the lack of decorum of others without employing tact, you give life to the ugliness that they represent, and in turn, you’ll become a part of it.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should let people antagonize you. Always stand your ground. But, there are people who cannot understand peaceful disagreements without vulgarity, and they’ll try to force you into a position where you might have to speak to them in ways that they understand to get your point across to them. Even that can be done without mirroring their ignorance and contradicting your true self.

Anyone who disrupts your energy by making you mad enough to cuss and fight, should not be there. It is your decision as to whether or not you should keep those types of people around. If you decide to stay in the company of such people, then they are not bringing you down to their level — you were already there.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.”

~Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Change Starts With Change

I had to make a decision to not respond to insults with more insults. I was able to do this by asking myself two questions: “How do I feel about myself?” and “Is there anything that anyone can say or do that has the power to detract from the way that I feel about myself?”. The answers were: “I feel great about myself! In fact, I feel so great about myself that I refuse to lend my power to those who display dislike for themselves by attempting to engage me in their toxicity.”

If we carry ourselves with class and dignity, the Universe will send classy, dignified people into our orbit. Those are the people who will help us achieve greatness, as we will help them.

“Right now I’m trying to be in a place of calm. A place where I can chill out and then handle the chaos of life better. You don’t just get there overnight; you have to work at it. It’s a daily struggle.”

Jackee Harry

10 Good Reasons To NOT Involve Others In Your Relationships

Why You Should Keep Your Mouth SHUT!

Apparently, most people do not like being alone (“alone” meaning not in a romantic relationship). Whenever I scroll social media, regardless of the day of the week, or time of day, I see a plethora of memes and posts about relationships. “Wanting” a relationship, “leaving ” a relationship, “my future husband” this, “my future wife” that. Many people dislike waking up alone, and they feel incomplete without the companionship of a significant other. Although I don’t share this sentiment in its entirety, I understand — I’ve even been there.

Courtships can be awesome and fulfilling. It’s a great feeling to have someone in your life to spend time with, or just someone that you can go through the good times and bad times with, who gives you the support and encouragement that you need to go on and be great. When the bond is right, you can finish each other’s sentences, and feel their pain, even if they are miles away. A strong spiritual connection with someone that you love is an incredible gift from the Universe! Many songs have been written based on this feeling of euphoria.

It’s all flowers and sunshine in the beginning. However, it’s inevitable that flowers die, and the sun sets every night. That’s nature.

Don’t Get Me Wrong

I’m not putting relationships down, in fact, I know that many times, things work themselves out. Many courtships flourish in spite of bad times, perhaps, even materializing into marriages.

I was married for a while. Before and during my marriage, I was given advice from several people, most of whom I have abundant respect for. However, the best advice that I was given, was advice that I did not take. It came from one of my favorite aunts — Aunt Charlene.

At my wedding reception, Aunt Charlene pulled me aside and said a few things to me about my new marriage. The last thing that she said to me in that conversation was:

“KEEP OTHER FOLKS OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

Realest words ever spoken! Yet, I did not take her advice. Whenever things went awry in my marriage, I’d share the details with any open ear. I honestly don’t believe that had I taken her advice, my marriage would have survived — in fact, I know that it wouldn’t have. Nonetheless, heeding those words might have made our time together less strenuous. I haven’t been in a relationship since my divorce, but moving forward, I will take Aunt Charlene’s advice.

10 Reasons Why You Should Keep Other Folks Out of Your Business

While discussing this topic with my daughter, Justice, we comprised a list of 10 reasons why sharing the woes of a relationship with friends and family is not a wise thing to do. Maybe this list will help someone.

  1. You wont take their advice

When you go to people for advice about your relationship, you’re already upset. Even if you are given sound advice, most likely, you’re going to do things your own way. When your heart is involved, you’ll accept things that are nonsensical — even to you. If you repeatedly depend on the ears and words of your friends and family, it’s inevitable that the will soon tire of hearing the same story over-and-over. Eventually, they’ll stop listening, and perhaps, avoid you altogether. Don’t ruin the good relationships in your life by annoying them with problems that you know you are not going to fix.

2. You could put your friends/family, and even yourself in an uncomfortable environment

This is especially true with family and very close friends. Remember, these people care more about you than they do your significant other (regardless of what they say). It hurts them when they feel that you are in an unstable environment (based on what you’ve told them). This could make for very uncomfortable holiday dinners.

3. You will vilify your mate

How could you not? When you go to others to tell them what “he/she” has done to piss you off, and what an asshole they are; you’re going to make yourself the victim, and “him/her” the villain. As the saying goes, “It takes two to tango“, but a person can do the robot alone. When you go to your support system and tell them how you’ve been trying to tango, while “he/she” insisted on doing the robot — without telling them that you did the robot now and then too, guess who your team will support? And now, all because you did not tell the story in its entirety, there’ll be more uncomfortable holiday dinners.

5. They’ll take your side

You may not want to admit it at first, but sometimes, it’s YOU who is wrong. In many cases, the people who love, respect, and/or look up to you will tell you what they think you want to hear instead of what you need to hear. This will give you a false sense of righteousness, and if there is a lesson to be learned, it’ll go over your head. Always avoid coddlers — at all costs! Avoid them in any phase of life. They think they’re helping, but they’re not. They only make things worse.

6. They’re not perfect either

Anything can look good on paper. In other words, people in seemingly good relationships, definitely have ups and downs as everyone else does. Because they put up a front as though they are the perfect couple, is exactly why their advice can’t be trusted. Personally, I’d rather listen to people who suck at relationships, because unbeknownst to them, they are telling me what NOT to do.

7. People can be jealous pricks

If you usually seem happy, and you tell certain people that your relationship is in strife, they’ll help you make it worse. It’s really amazing how skilled these types of people are at performing these acts. I guess they should be great at it, since most of them have spent so much time being miserable.🤷🏽‍♀️

8. Maybe they want you. Maybe they want him/her

Do not believe that there are not people out there who are dying to be in your position. They could be people that you talk to and associate with regularly — even family. Choose your allies wisely.

9. They’ll tell everybody

Ever heard it said that the only way that two people can keep a secret is if one of them are dead? Well, it’s true. If your story is told to even one other person, it’ll become national news by morning. Even worse, by the time the story about your minor dispute comes back to you, you probably wont even recognize it.

10. You know that you’re not going anywhere

When an argument first commence, you know whether or not you are going to leave your significant other. I’ll say that eight times out of ten, no one leaves. If they do, it’s not forever– especially not in current times. You’re better off buying a journal and writing your thoughts out, or as my dad once told me: drink a tall glass of water, slowly, and then decide how you will handle the situation. Calm yourself and work on a solution without involving other people.

Heed The Advice of Aunt Charlene

Before you share the ugly details of your relationship with others, remember my aunt Charlene’s advice, “KEEP OTHER FOLKS OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS!”. Why? Because flowers grow, and the sun rises every morning. That’s nature also.

“People speculate on your personal life anyway. So I think it’s important to keep my private life private and my public persona more into music, you know”

~Prince

The Journey of the Human Mind

Contradictions And Evolution

I was soaking in the tub a few nights ago, with music playing softly in the background, as I always do. I have a special playlist that consist of relaxing music — mostly instrumentals, that I only use for this event. The sole purpose of soaking is to cleanse my aura and allow myself to relax and be at one with the Universe.

I Am Your Mind

On this night, “I Am Your Mind” by Roy Ayers (one of the few songs on that playlist that has words) began to play. I’ve heard that song thousands of times, but obviously, I had never really listened it. As I laid back in the tub with all but my face under water, incense burning, Zen candle lit, I took the time to listen deeply to the lyrics.

After the song ended, I continued to think about the words, even though other songs had started and ended. The lyric that stood out the most for me was:

“I was your mind yesterday; I am your mind today; and I’ll be your mind tomorrow. And as our end draws near, we will become closer. But you and I will never be one, for I will part from you, and you will part from me; you finding another mind, and I, another soul. And we will travel on and on.”

This got me thinking about our thoughts and our words. Thoughts travel through our minds constantly, at lightning pace — sometimes erratically. Some ideas are created in our minds as the result of overthinking. And, there are times when the Universe whispers to us in our thoughts and helps us work out things in our lives. When thoughts are erratic, they can drive us crazy! We jump from thing to thing, subject to subject as if some sadistic spirit has remote control of our brains. At any rate, our minds are always busy.

Contradiction Doesn’t Have To Be A Bad Thing

What we currently think at any given time will not necessarily stay with us, and that’s not a bad thing; may we all live long enough to contradict ourselves. We are ever changing beings, and as we evolve, so will our mindsets, thoughts, and perhaps, belief systems. Experience, as well as lessons learned along the way, whether personally or through others, can reshape us as they enter our orbit. This shouldn’t be resisted; it is conducive to our growth.

As we learn more about ourselves and some of those thoughts begin to manifest, we become excited to share what we know, and who we’ve become — sometimes on a “need to know” basis, and sometimes voluntarily. Eventually, those thoughts and ideas translate to words and begin to travel through space, reaching others and having an effect on them. Words can enlighten, provoke thought, and sometimes, words can completely turn people off. Regardless of the effect that our ideas have on others, they are still absorbed by the people around us, which could aid in their evolution, or their resistance.

Mind Traveling

So, as we transmit information from mind to mind, and soul to soul, we all grow together, as well as apart, because our minds and our souls are designed for expansion — to move forward. Our minds are always vulnerable to what’s going on around us. We think, ponder, and wonder. The byproduct of that energy is creation. We are all creators — transmitters of good and bad energy, and it all starts with parts of us that no one can see or touch — yet many will reach: our minds and our souls.

“The Mind is never satisfied with the objects immediately before it, but it’s always breaking away from the present moment and losing itself in schemes of future felicity… The natural flight of the human mind are not pleasure to pleasure, but from hope to hope”

~Samuel Johnson

2019: New Year, New Goals

Accomplishing Goals For The New Year

This is the final Afrologik article of 2018. I’ve expressed to you all how very appreciative I am of your support, so I won’t go into detail with that gratitude. However, I truly hope that I have given you all something positive that you can take into 2019. Through writing this blog, I’ve discovered much about myself, so thank you all for allowing me to share my thoughts with you. ( To go on with this subject would be an act of redundancy. If you need to know the full extent of my gratitude for your support, click here).

New Year Reset

A new year is pretty awesome because it is a chance to hit “reset“. Of course it is not a clean slate (wouldn’t it be nice if it was?), but it is an opportunity to plan for a new outcome. We can set new goals or improve on the areas of our lives that need improvement. I’m sure that we all have some nuts and bolts that could use tightening up.

Everyone is about to start talking about losing weight, and gyms everywhere are about to launch massive advertising campaigns to attract thousands of people who are not going to stick with it (pardon my frankness, but some of you know who you are, and know that it’s true). I understand because I’ve been there. It’s as easy to to become motivated to work out as it is to become unmotivated.

Don’t Jive Yourself

Committing to a workout and diet plan really is hard work — especially in the beginning. You have to condition yourself to stick to a schedule, stay away from certain foods that you might enjoy, and be consistent with things that you are not used to. Setting goals and reaching them is encouraging, but it’s not alway enough motivation to see us through the process. That is usually the part where we start making excuses: pain, family, job, too tired — you know, the usual BS. Instead of lying to others, as well as ourselves, why not be honest and admit the truth: “I wasn’t as serious about it as I wanted to be, so I quit.” I’m sure that admitting that is very liberating.

Unfortunately, many people will start the year off working on their goals and dreams with the same vigor as those who failed at committing to lose weight, and in a few months (or weeks), they’ll begin to lose momentum and settle for the life that they have. There’s nothing wrong with being content with your current life, if you’re happy. Setting new goals is not always indicative of unhappiness. Sometimes, goals are set to achieve self-fulfillment. When we are no longer ambitious, we are reneging on the fulfillment that we desire, or need.

Set Your Goals And Stick To Them

Setting goals and staying on task can be extremely difficult to do — I know this from experience, as I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. I’ve been 170lbs (at 5’3), desperately needing to lose 40lbs. I’d start workout regimens and lifestyle changes, and then totally blow them off. In the end, vanity gave me the push that I needed to lose weight and adopt new and better habits. I’ve also set personal goals to acquire material things and personal achievements, only to run out of gas halfway to the finish line. It’s never taken long for me to regret giving up on myself. That regret would make me apprehensive about trying again, because I knew that I couldn’t bear more self disappointment. Nonetheless, I always got up and tried again.

I started planning for a better 2019 in 2018, but as life would have it, towards the end of the year, I was hit with obstacle after obstacle. This time, what I had working in my favor, was that 2018 was the best year that I’ve had in several years, so I’m optimistic about the upcoming new year. I know where I want to be, what I want to do, and most importantly, I know what I have to do to accomplish those things.

COME ON OBSTACLES! THE GLOVES ARE OFF! BRING IT!

As we all prepare to begin a new revolution, we must stay on course. If there are things that you want to accomplish this year, and you are serious about accomplishing them, take the gloves off and bare-knuckle box to achieve the things that you want. Be steadfast and vigilant.

Make a list — today — of all of the steps involved with making your goals a reality, and cross off each step as you complete them (a friend suggested this to me a couple years ago. It really does help!). This will show your progress in real time and encourage you to keep going.

Two thousand nineteen is the year of possibilities. Everything that you want is possible, if you are willing to put in the work. You got this! And the universe has got you!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎊🎆🎈

My Umi says: shine your light on the world. Shine your light for the world to see

~Mos Def

2 Days Left In 2018: What Writers Block Looks Like

A Look Back…

I can only speak for myself, but 2018 was an awesome year! I traveled, I met some Facebook friends, I found myself, and I found the place that I really want to be (California); I’ve even started making plans to make that a reality. Most importantly, I started Afrologik, which has been an amazing journey. Afrologik is the earmark for the greatness that is to come. Also, it is the first of my many endeavors that I have stuck with, and plan to continue. I enjoy writing this blog, and I’m grateful to my audience. Your encouragement made that possible.

In writing for Afrologik, many times I have experienced writers block, (as writers tend to do). There are several ways of combating writers block, such as: taking a break and doing other things until inspiration hits, exercising, eating, and much more. I’d often feel guilty about running out of gas, so I started looking on Google for ways to fight it. All I found was more of what I mentioned earlier. So I thought, “writing is art, and artists have to be creative. I’ve got to do something creative to awaken my own creativity”. With that idea in mind, I turned to Snapchat and it’s filters. You know what? It worked every time!

As the end of 2018 is more imminent, I’ve decided to share with you some of what I did to combat writers block. This is my invitation to you, to the sillier side of Brandi Badd Ass.

When Writers Block Commence

This Christmas – Donny Hathaway

If You Want Me To Stay – Sly & The Family Stone

Annie Don’t Wear No Panties – Erykah Badu

Cosmic Slop – Funkadelic

Goldmine – Take 6

School Boy Crush – Average White Band

Blues And Pants – James Brown

‘Round Midnight – Amy Winehouse

🍋 Lemons To Lemonade

Anything can be fun, if you make it fun. For writers, running out of words and/or ideas is the worst! It doesn’t have to be a drag. Whatever it is that you have to deal with, is probably not as much of a drag as it seems to be. Take a break from it and have fun! The answers usually come after you’ve separated yourself from the frustrations, this is something that I know all too well, so you can take my word for it. If I can do it, ANYONE can do it!

We’ve got two more days to get our heads right for 2019. Enter the new year in the good vibes zone. Love, laugh, and relax–it’s not that urgent.

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade “

~ Some cat who probably had a lemonade stand

Says No One EVER! 10 Statements That Have Never Been Spoken

Welcome To The Weekend

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It’s finally Friday, the gateway to the weekend. We’ve made it through Christmas and the work week (for those of us who worked through the holiday). Lets take a break from all of the frustration and anxiety of the last five days, and perhaps, chuckle a little. Cool?

Ten Things That No One Would Ever Say 

1) I have way too much money.

2) No, YouTube. I would not like to skip this long boring ad in five seconds.

3) I can’t wait to get my prostate checked. (courtesy of my good friend Chris Foxx.  Obviously, I do not have a prostate.)

4) I encourage my children to keep lights and appliances on, even when they are not in use. Because low energy bills really suck!

5) Smoking cigarettes improved my asthma.

6) (To boss or manager) I was late to work today because, well, I didn’t want to come to work.

7) I love it when all of the neighborhood children get together and express themselves, loudly.

8) Tacos. YUCK!

9) I enjoy waking up to a sink full of dishes. Who wouldn’t?

10) I lost 50 pounds on the bread and potato diet!

Enjoy your weekend, my friends!

“Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one’s fellow human beings.”

~Maya Angelou

When What They Do Effects You: Dealing With Negativity

Identifying Negativity

Have you ever been around a person who affects the way that you act or feel? In some cases, this isn’t a bad thing. For instance, if the person/people brings out the better parts of you and/or encourages you to strive for excellence, then their presence in your life is positive and valuable. However, if these people bring to light the parts of you that you find unfavorable, or are not contributory to your growth and happiness, they are not valuable, and they do not belong. Anyone who does not leave you with feelings of encouragement and ambition, has no place in your life.

Self Check: Is It You?

Not everyone who has a negative effect on our feelings and/or behavior, is doing so with malicious intent. There are situations where the “offender” has the best of intentions and are not aware of the effect that they have on us. Most of the time, in this case, it’s not them — it’s us.

Humans have a tendency to manufacture thoughts, ideas, and even actions, in our minds, with the expectation that these feelings are understood and known by others. We become disappointed when we find out that what we have created in our minds is not understood by the opposite parties. This usually results in an array of feelings and emotions, such as jealousy, anger, and depression, which can have an adverse effect on our actions.

Unconscious Negativity

Some people have rotten dispositions and give off negative energy that affects everyone around them. Even theses types of people are not necessarily consciously inflicting their negative energy upon the people around them. Sometimes, it’s a case of “That’s just how they are”. When negative energy comes from those of whom you cannot avoid spending time around (perhaps a coworker), it can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude. Even worse, bad attitudes can be quite contagious. An unpleasant disposition could rub off on you and stifle you from being at your best. Although they may not be purposely exacting negativity, they are still toxic, and should be avoided.

Blatant Negativity

There are also those who really are jealous, angry, bitter, and insufferable, and would love nothing more than to bring everyone down to their level. Self loathing people enjoy bringing grief onto others. It’s been my experience that bitter, resentful, people often have entitlement issues. Since they feel that the world owes them something, they are offended by happy, prosperous people. Belittling anyone who is representative of the things that they don’t have, yet feel entitled to, makes them feel better about themselves. Sick huh? I know.

You Can’t Control Other People, But You Can Control YOU!

When it comes to those who do not have malicious intent, but instead, are victims of our own imaginations; we must be accountable for our feelings. Communication is the only way to remedy vast ingenuity. We can save ourselves from depression and confusion simply by stating our cases in an effort to know the truth. This is much better than being guided by assumptions. As humans, we tend to overstate how insightful we believe ourselves to be, by attempting to “figure things [and] people out”. There is not always reason for figuring, but rather, inquiring. Not everything  is a puzzle or a “sign”. Believing that everything is said or done in some sort of code, has the potential to drive you mad. Be accountable for your assumptions and articulate your feelings.

Not everyone that we chance upon will have positive attitudes, and sometimes the attitudes of unhappy people can influence our own. This is when we have to create own force field. Whenever you are in positions in which you cannot physically escape the realm of another persons demeanor, concentrate on your own. People are people, and they’re not always easy or pleasant, we have to accept that. However, we cannot allow the vile attitudes of others to change who we are. The best way to protect our energy is to not allow negative people to engage us. There’s no need to respond to or acknowledge them, so don’t.

There is truth to the saying “If you ignore them, they’ll go away”. Even the most self loathing person will not perform if they do not have an audience. Keep moving forward and building your dream, or just continue to be your fabulous self — that is kryptonite to negative energy. Shine on them and blind them. Do not allow salty people to deprive you of the things that the universe has for you.

“The problem with those consumed by negativity, stress, and worry, is that they are trapped by the black cloud. Sunlight cannot enter their world.”

~Joel Aylworth